


I Think I'll Start It Over

by oneprotagonistshort



Series: Seblaine Goes To Boston [1]
Category: Glee
Genre: Boston, M/M, Post-Canon, Sebastian Smythe/OMC - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-11
Updated: 2016-10-11
Packaged: 2018-08-21 21:54:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 28,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8261683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oneprotagonistshort/pseuds/oneprotagonistshort
Summary: Blaine had moved on from his life in New York and resettled in Boston when Sebastian Smythe burst back into his life, unstable boyfriend and volatile relationship in tow. Blaine and Sebastian managed to reconnect, and Blaine felt all the potential that had been hindered by high school and geography come out in full force. The closer they became, the more Blaine realized Sebastian was unhappy. In order to help, he needed to figure out how close was too close and how to put his own feelings aside.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> When asked what Sebastian’s doing now, Grant Gustin said, “He probably succeeded at something in a big city, and I imagine he’s probably in a very unstable relationship with somebody," so I took that and ran.
> 
> thank-yous are in order! to my wife who put up with me neglecting things like household duties and conversation with her while I wrote this; to [feverbeats](http://archiveofourown.org/users/feverbeats/pseuds/feverbeats), my Boston consultant and an American hero who helped make this possible; to my beautiful betas midtrains and novelized; to my personal cheerleader techno; and to everyone else who provided intel on everything from video games to beer to pretentious boat shoes while supporting me emotionally as I hacked my way through this
> 
> worth noting: no one gets cheated on in this fic

Blaine and Nick were sitting in their living room doing homework when it all started.

Well, Blaine was doing homework. He wasn’t sure how he’d managed to let it pile up on him like this so early in the semester, but he had three different Word docs open and was trying to work his way through each of them. Nick, apparently, was on Facebook.

“What the fuck,” Nick said softly, incredulously, and then to Blaine, “Have you seen this?” He started to laugh. 

“Seen what?” Blaine asked, sliding the folding chair he was sitting on away from the card table they called a kitchen table to join Nick on the couch. Nick gestured to his laptop.

“‘Sebastian Smythe is in a relationship with Travis Ritter,’” Nick read. “Looks like Mr. ‘Monogamy is for ugly heterosexuals’ got himself a boyfriend. Apparently this was like two days ago, how did you not see this?”

“Kurt made me unfriend him,” Blaine admitted. “I guess I never bothered adding him again after we broke up.”

“Well you should add him now,” suggested Nick, “things are about to get good.”

Blaine didn’t jump right to Facebook, he had homework to do and knew that once he started procrastinating he wouldn’t stop, but he kept the thought in the back of his mind. That night, he found his cursor hovering over the “Add Friend” button, and after some deliberation, he sent the request.

He didn’t get a response right away, despite checking more than he would’ve liked to admit. It took three days for his phone to buzz with confirmation that Sebastian had accepted his request, along with a message:

_hey killer, long time no talk, I honestly thought you and Hummel had run off to join some sort of commune_

Blaine wasn’t sure what to make of that. He responded:

_Sebastian I live in Mission Hill, not Amish country_

The “typing” graphic tortured him for a while, and finally:

_Boston? hey neighbor, where’s the ball and chain?_

Blaine felt like he should’ve anticipated this. He thought about what to say next, and carefully typed out the message, hitting send before he could overthink it.

_yeah Mr. Harvard, we’re right next door. Kurt’s still in NYC, he’s not in the picture anymore. looks like you have a ball and chain of your own now though, should I be recommending communes for you?_

Facebook told him Sebastian had seen the message at 8:03pm, but he never responded.

* * *

“I’m throwing a party on Friday,” Nick said to him the next morning.

“I see you started that sentence with ‘I’m’ and not ‘we’re,’” Blaine said. “Does that mean I’m not invited?”

“It’s an Overwatch party,” Nick added. “You’re totally invited but as we’ve established, that’s not really your thing.”

After Dalton, Nick had been accepted to Northeastern and was majoring in digital art and game design. He’d brought a piece of the Warblers with him and was having the time of his life singing in one of Northeastern’s oldest a cappella groups, but a lot of his socialization came from classmates in the form of video games. Blaine would play with him occasionally, but more as something to do than as a real hobby. He knew enough about Overwatch to know that he didn’t really want to be crammed into the living room with Nick and five of his buddies while they got progressively worse at playing the more they drank.

“I’ll make myself busy,” Blaine conceded. He wasn’t sure with what, Nick had a year’s head start on him for making friends, but he didn’t really feel like hiding in his room with noise-cancelling headphones on.

Later that day it occurred to him that he did know at least one person in the city, and he figured it might as well be worth a try. Sebastian hadn’t really offered any indication that he’d want to hang out, but Blaine was curious as to what he’d been up to. He figured it couldn’t hurt to try to catch up with him, so in a rare quiet moment waiting for the bus to class, Blaine opened his phone and pulled up Facebook Messenger.

_do you have any plans for Friday night?_

Sebastian responded a few minutes later.

_maybe, but nothing definite. is that an invitation?_

Blaine tried not to seem too desperate, but he answered quickly.

_food at Wagner’s? I’m getting kicked out of my apartment around 6:30 so I could meet you by 7_

This time, Sebastian answered just as quickly.

_I’d be down for that. do you have my number or did Kurt make you delete me there too?_

Blaine considered a few different responses before deciding on:

_would you believe me if I said my new phone deleted all my contacts? send me your info, I’ll text you Friday afternoon_

They exchanged numbers and Blaine put his phone away just in time to catch his bus. It had been a long time since he’d seen Sebastian, and a lot had happened since then. It seemed like a lifetime ago that he’d been asking for the Warblers’ help with the proposal, and he hadn’t really talked to Sebastian since. He wondered if Sebastian was the same guy he knew back in Ohio.

* * *

That question was answered relatively quickly on Friday night when Sebastian took out a fake ID and ordered a beer. They were seated at a table not far from the bar, close enough for good service but not so close that they had to yell over the crowd.

Blaine laughed and asked for water, and once the waitress was out of earshot he said, “Please tell me that’s not the same ID you used to get into Scandals.”

Sebastian scoffed. “There’s a higher standard for forgeries here. This one cost a mint but I could probably board a plane with it if I tried.”

“Please tell me you haven’t tried,” Blaine said.

“Well that would be illegal, now wouldn’t it?” Sebastian feigned innocence, but it wasn’t very sincere. 

“You’d know all about legal,” Blaine said, “aren’t you a law student?” Blaine may or may not have Facebook stalked Sebastian a little after the friend request went through.

Sebastian laughed. “Not yet, that’s after my bachelors. Right now I’m taking in ‘a broad spectrum of coursework including government, economics, history, and others.’” Blaine had a feeling he was quoting a handbook. “But yes, my goal is Harvard Law.” He studied Blaine for a moment. “What about you? Last I heard you were hell-bent on making it big in New York City as a married man with a NYADA acceptance.”

Blaine thought for a minute before answering. “It didn’t work out like I expected it to. Kurt and I split, NYADA kicked me out, and I actually ended up back in Ohio.”

Sebastian almost choked on his beer. “Ohio?” he asked, genuinely disbelieving. “Why?”

“I needed to get my head on straight,” Blaine explained. “I coached the Warblers to a victory at Nationals here in Boston and fell in love with the city while I was at it. Nick lived here already and Berklee has a music therapy program that really appealed to me. Music got me out of a bad headspace, you know? I figured I might as well start there. The only thing that sucks is that NYADA credits don’t exactly transfer, the coursework there is pretty niche so when I started back up a few weeks ago I started from scratch. I’m a freshman again.”

“What, ‘Fencing For The Stage’ and ‘Headshots 101’ didn’t apply to your new major? I’m shocked,” Sebastian said, taking another sip of his beer. “For what it’s worth, I think you traded up. Boston’s not perfect but it sure as hell beats a sexless marriage with someone who dances like a dead fish caught in a current.”

Blaine laughed despite himself. “Thanks for that. My turn though, tell me about Travis.”

Sebastian gave a soft smile. “Yeah, that seems to be what everyone wants to talk about these days. There’s really not much to tell. We hooked up at a party, kept hooking up, and decided to make it exclusive. Pretty simple.”

“Oh there has got to be more to it than that,” Blaine prompted. “Tell me everything about him, I need to know who convinced notorious philanderer Sebastian Smythe to settle down.”

The slight tension in Sebastian’s shoulders was so small and gone so quickly that Blaine must’ve imagined it. “Finish my beer,” he said, “and I’ll tell you one thing.”

“Five things,” Blaine countered.

“Three,” Sebastian said. “Final offer.”

Blaine was reluctant to drink in public without an ID, but no one seemed to be watching. As the night carried on, the bar area was filling up and staff attention seemed to be diverted elsewhere. Blaine regarded the glass, which was definitely more than half-full, and shrugging his shoulders he grabbed it and quickly drained what was left.

“Damn,” Sebastian said. “I always knew you had it in you. Alright: one, he rows crew. Two, he’s a trust fund baby who could buy this bar and pay everyone in it to entertain him with an improv variety show. Three, when he summers on Nantucket he wears pastel shorts and boat shoes with lobsters printed on them that I want to set on fire. Happy?”

“Preppy,” Blaine commented. “Wouldn’t have pegged that as your type.”

Sebastian shrugged. “Wouldn’t have pegged anyone as a boyfriend type for me. He’s fun, though. I like him.”

“Well good for you,” Blaine said. “Do you think you could get me another beer?”

It turned out that Sebastian could in fact, get them both another beer, and another one after that. Plates of food came and were cleared away as they caught up, and the time passed quickly. Blaine was halfway between buzzed and tipsy when he remarked almost flippantly, “You know, I own a cardigan with lobsters printed on it and you seemed pretty into me for a while, maybe Travis is more your type than you think.”

“You own a… what?” Sebastian asked. “I’m going to pretend I didn’t just hear you say that so I can continue to look you in the eye. It’s a good thing I never saw you in it, I would’ve torn it off you, thrown it in the nearest trash can, and burned it for the sake of humanity.”

“So what you’re saying is that you’d be so overwhelmed by my lobster cardigan that you’d start taking off my clothes,” Blaine joked. “I see how it is.”

Laughing a little, Sebastian said, “Back in the day it would’ve taken a lot less than a lobster cardigan to get me to take off your clothes.”

Blaine finished his beer. “Don’t let Travis hear you say that.”

“Yeah, well,” Sebastian started, then seemed to rethink what came next and finished his own beer instead. Blaine wasn’t sure if he’d crossed a line, in high school that kind of exchange would’ve been par for the course, but things seemed different now that Sebastian was the one with the boyfriend and not Blaine.

The short lull in conversation that followed prompted Blaine to look at his phone. It was later than he thought. “I should probably get going,” he said. “How are you getting back to Cambridge?”

“I’ll grab an Uber,” Sebastian said. He already had his phone out. “Someone will be here in ten minutes.”

“Do you want me to hang out until the driver gets here?” Blaine asked. The pub was still full of people, mostly students, and on a Friday night the crowd wouldn’t dissipate for a while. It was a pretty chill area to be hanging out in so Blaine wasn’t worried about Sebastian waiting alone, but he didn’t want to be the jerk who left him by himself.

Sebastian dismissed his offer with a wave of his hand. “Don’t worry about it. Try not to die on your way home, there’s a reason I don’t come to Mission Hill when I don’t have to.”

“Alright,” Blaine conceded, and reached out to shake Sebastian’s hand. It seemed weirdly formal, but he wasn’t sure what else to do. “I’ll see you around?”

“Definitely,” Sebastian said. “Keep an eye on your messages, I’m working on something for Halloween.”

“Sweet!” said Blaine, and with a final goodbye he set out for home.

* * *

Sure enough, a few days later, Blaine’s phone buzzed with a text telling to get his costume ready along with a date, time, and address for the party. A second text added: _bring Nick with you if you want, he needs to crawl out of his cave and see how normal people live_. Blaine laughed and, phone still in hand, he knocked on Nick’s door.

“What do you want?” called Nick, but his door was more than slightly ajar so Blaine let himself in.

“Do you want to go to a Harvard party with me for Halloween?” Blaine asked.

Nick didn’t even look up from his computer. “Why would I want to do that?”

“Because,” Blaine said, “Sebastian’s boyfriend is going to be there and you’ll get to meet him.”

That got Nick’s attention. His head whipped up to look at Blaine and he asked, “Really?”

Blaine grinned. “Yep. You’ll probably get to socialize with him and everything.”

“Their alcohol is probably better than ours, so it’d be a waste if I didn’t go,” Nick said. He looked thoughtful, and Blaine wasn’t sure he liked where this was going.

“Nick-” he warned, but Nick wasn’t stopping.

“And really, I’d be a bad friend if I let you go all the way to Cambridge by yourself,” Nick added.

“Please don’t-” Blaine started again, only to be interrupted.

“And if in the process I got to meet this Travis guy and maybe do a little digging into the exact nature of his relationship with our buddy Sebastian-”

“Nick don’t make it weird,” Blaine begged.

“-and if that information just happens to get passed along to the Dalton alumni group text-”

“Stop it or you can’t come.” Blaine was getting nervous.

“It’s fine,” Nick assured him. “I’ll be very discreet.”

Somehow, that didn’t make Blaine feel better. He was starting to regret asking Nick to go with him; having a familiar face to hang out with wasn’t worth the inevitable damage control he was going to have to run with Travis. He already had a headache. Still, there was no talking Nick out of it now that he’d been invited, and by the time Blaine closed the door behind him Nick had already cancelled his other plans.

* * *

Blaine loved Halloween, but he’d never been one to go for elaborate costumes. That had always been Kurt’s job and Blaine had always been fine with the arrangement. As he adjusted his T-Birds jacket he was thankful for ebay and the hair gel he already owned. Danny Zuko had arrived.

Nick, however, had clearly been working on something for a while. He emerged from his room in an orange jumpsuit and some kind of white utility vest, looking expectantly at Blaine. When Blaine shrugged he said, “No? I’m Poe Dameron, Blaine. Star Wars. I made you watch this.”

“Oh,” Blaine said, “I thought you were an escaped convict in a lifejacket.”

“Hilarious,” said Nick. “Are we going or what?”

They arrived at the party on time, but it seemed like it had already been going for a while. Nick grabbed two jell-o shots off a tray being carried around by a girl in a black corset with a tail, ears, and winged eyeliner; Blaine assumed she was supposed to be a cat. Blaine took his shot, mentally making his peace with the fact that he probably wouldn’t get to have many more judging by the way Nick was eyeing the keg in the corner. Someone was going to have to navigate them back to Mission Hill, and it looked like Blaine was going to have to be the one to stay sober enough to do it.

“Hey greased lightning,” came a voice from behind him. Nick and Blaine both turned around to find Sebastian making his way towards them, with someone who was presumably Travis in tow. Sebastian was dressed as a doctor, the lightweight and close-fitting scrubs coming as a surprise to Blaine, who was still half expecting to see him in layers of uniform. He had a stethoscope and everything. Travis was dressed as a cop, complete with handcuffs dangling from his belt and aviators hooked into his collar that Blaine suspected were probably worth more than his laptop.

Travis smiled at Blaine and extended his hand. “You must be Blaine,” he said, “I’m Sebastian’s boyfriend, Travis. It’s good to meet you.”

Blaine shook his hand. Strong grip, winning smile, very charming. He could see why Sebastian liked him so much. “You too,” he said, and not wanting to be rude he added, “This is my roommate, Nick. We all went to high school together.”

Nick shook Travis’ hand, looking impressed. “Always nice to meet some of Sebastian’s friends from back in the day,” Travis said. “I can’t get any good stories out of him so you’ll have to fill me in.”

Nick’s face lit up. “Well actually, there was this one time-”

“I was a saint and we all know it,” interrupted Sebastian. He looked at Nick and added, “You’re supposed to be an escaped convict, right? Travis, you should handcuff him to something for everyone’s safety.”

Travis laughed. “First of all, no one here believes you’ve done a single saintly thing in your life, so nice try but I’m coming back to this later. Second, he’s obviously Poe Dameron, what rock have you been under?”

If Nick hadn’t been wowed by Travis already, Blaine could tell he was now. “Thank you,” he said, looking pointedly at Blaine and Sebastian. “I’m going to get some beer, but seeing as you two are dead to me right now, I won’t offer to bring you any. Travis?”

“I’ll come with you,” Travis said. “They’re not dead to me yet and Sebastian here looks like he needs a drink.” The two walked away and Blaine had to admit that judging by the tension in his jaw, Sebastian probably really did need a drink.

“I regret inviting him,” Sebastian said as they walked away.

“You regret it? I’m going to be the one on babysitting and damage control duty all night,” said Blaine. “I think this was a joint effort in regrettable decisions.”

Travis and Nick were already headed back to them, and Blaine could just make out Nick saying, “-and then he gave the photoshopped pictures to the competition-” before Sebastian cut him off again.

“Alright, I think that’s enough reminiscing for one night,” Sebastian said, taking a Solo cup full of beer from Travis. Blaine, apparently forgiven, took his from Nick. 

“You know,” said Travis, “the air of mystery you surround yourself with doesn’t make you as interesting as you think it does. I, for one, would like to know if you learned Photoshop for this blackmail thing or if you had to get someone to do it for you.”

Blaine stepped in before Sebastian got a chance to answer. “Nick did it,” he said. “He was good with graphic design even then.”

Nick at least had the good sense to look embarrassed. “It was Sebastian’s idea.”

“And that’s the last thing you get to say about it,” said Sebastian. “Some people are setting up beer pong, why don’t you go check it out? They’re in the basement.” It was obvious from his tone that he felt holed up in the basement was an appropriate place for Nick to spend the rest of the evening.

Knowing when Sebastian had had enough, Nick shrugged. “Sure,” he said. “Blaine, you coming?”

Blaine wasn’t really keen on surrounding himself with a basement full of binge-drinking college kids he didn't know, so he said, “You go ahead, I’m going to find something to eat.” 

“There’s food in the kitchen,” Travis supplied. “It’s nothing impressive but there are snacks and there’s candy everywhere.”

“I think someone brought a few pumpkin pies from that bakery in Brookline,” Sebastian added. “Don’t ask me why, but they looked good. Snag me a slice if there’s any left.”

Nick was already gone, off to the basement in search of beer and better company, so after promises of pie, Blaine made his way to the kitchen. From behind him as he walked away, he heard Travis say to Sebastian, “Can we talk about-” but the rest of the question was drowned out by the music.

In the kitchen, Blaine found that there were exactly two slices of pie left, and he shoveled them both onto a plate and grabbed two forks. Eating as he maneuvered his way back to where Sebastian and Travis had been, Blaine looked around to find that they were gone. He finished his slice while he walked around the house for a bit before he finally caught Sebastian’s voice coming from down a hallway. He followed it to a closed door and listened for a second, unsure if an interruption would be welcome.

It became clear pretty quickly that an interruption by Blaine would have been the last thing the situation needed. Sebastian and Travis were fighting, and it sounded to Blaine like they’d been at it since he left for the kitchen.

“-but I don’t know any of your friends from before Harvard,” Blaine heard Travis say. He didn't sound happy. 

“I’m from Ohio, they don’t live here!” came Sebastian’s voice. “Do you want to get on a plane to Columbus? Call Southwest, we can fly nonstop tomorrow morning.”

“Well apparently at least two of them do live here,” said Travis, his tone accusatory. “And I’m just meeting them now? You won’t even let them tell me what you were like in high school! It’s like I don’t even know who you are and I’m not allowed to try to find out. Do you have any idea how embarrassing it is for me to meet people from your past and introduce myself as your boyfriend and to then have to admit I know nothing about you?”

Sebastian’s voice quieted a little, but he was still loud enough to be heard through the door. Blaine felt vaguely guilty for the fact that he was still listening, but not guilty enough to go occupy himself elsewhere. “This is ridiculous, you’re being ridiculous.”

There was a sudden silence from behind the door, the only sound coming from the thumping bass in the living room. Blaine made to leave, assuming the fight was over and that he should make himself scarce. Before he got far though, a huge crash came from the room where Sebastian and Travis had been fighting. Worried, Blaine put concern over embarrassment and timidly knocked on the door.

More silence. Blaine knocked again, and almost a third time when he heard a smaller clattering come from inside the room. He wasn’t sure what he’d find when he opened the door, but he called “Is everything okay? I’m coming in,” before opening the door.

On the other side of the door he found Sebastian pressing Travis into a dresser, the top of which had been swept clean, presumably by one of the two. Travis was halfway on top of it when Blaine walked in.

“Oh my god,” said Blaine, trying to look anywhere else before finally giving up and just turning around. Travis’ cop uniform had been completely unbuttoned, and Sebastian’s scrub top was missing entirely. “I’m so sorry, I heard a crash-”

“Oh shit, hi Blaine,” said Sebastian, laughing. “Looks like you found the real party.” Then to Travis, “Do you think we broke anything this time?”

 _This time?_ Blaine asked himself. “I’m so sorry,” he said again. “I couldn’t find you guys, and then…” he trailed off. “I got pie.”

Travis laughed. “Blaine, it’s fine,” he said.

“You can turn around, we’re decent,” said Sebastian, so Blaine did. Travis’ shirt was still mostly unbuttoned, but Sebastian had managed to find his top amongst the debris from the dresser. “Travis, I’m going to go eat some pie with Blaine, he looks traumatized,” he said. “Can you?”

“On it,” said Travis, finally buttoning his shirt. He reached down into the mess on the floor and retrieved his aviators. One of the lenses was cracked. He regarded them momentarily before tossing the sunglasses into the trash, and Blaine just barely repressed a strangled noise. 

Sebastian grabbed the plate of pie from Blaine and walked him out the door as Travis started to pick up the mess they’d left behind. “Looks like you started without me,” he said, referring to the remains of Blaine’s piece. Blaine couldn’t figure out how he was being so normal.

“It took me a while to find you,” said Blaine. “I got hungry. I heard yelling, is everything okay?”

“Between me and Travis?” Sebastian asked. “Oh yeah.” Sensing Blaine’s confusion, he continued, “That’s kind of our form of conflict resolution. We fight, we fuck, we move on. Hasn’t failed us yet.”

“That sounds exhausting,” said Blaine, handing Sebastian a fork. 

Taking it and eagerly starting in on the pie, Sebastian said, “I’m not sick of it yet.”

Blaine wasn’t sure what to make of that. “Well, as long as you’re having fun.”

“Tell me about it, stud,” said Sebastian and Blaine definitely wasn’t sure what to make of that. After a pause Sebastian elaborated, “Your costume? Danny?”

“Right,” Blaine said, laughing even though it felt a little forced. “ _You’re The One That I Want._ ” This time it was Sebastian’s turn to look confused. “The song?”

“Right,” Sebastian echoed. “You know, I’ve never actually seen Grease in full.”

Blaine wasn’t entirely surprised. He said, “You realize that now I have a moral obligation to make you watch it, right? This is an outrage.”

“Sure,” Sebastian said, but he was distracted. “Look, I should go help Travis. Are you going to stay for a while?”

“I’m probably going to go scrape Nick off the floor, how long I stay will depend on how well he’s able to walk,” said Blaine.

Sebastian laughed. “Well make sure he doesn’t throw up on anyone’s shoes, and I’ll see you when I see you. If not tonight we can catch each other later?”

“Definitely,” Blaine said, and he meant it. “I’ll send pictures of Nick doing anything embarrassing, you can use them for revenge.”

“Blaine Anderson, an American hero,” said Sebastian. Blaine started to say goodbye, but Sebastian had already turned back down the hall. 

By the time Blaine made it to the basement, Nick had somehow befriended everyone around him. Nick had a talent for making friends, but only when alcohol was involved. He was already well on his way to drunk, and he was conveniently looking for a new partner. ”Ladies and gentlemen, Blaine Anderson!” he said to the crowd. “Come on Blaine,” he added. “One round.”

They played five.

* * *

Blaine half-expected Halloween to be a one-time deal, it had been great to see Sebastian but Cambridge and Blaine’s neighborhood were further apart than a map would have them believe, and Blaine knew it could be tough to maintain friendships when commutes were taken into consideration. He was surprised when Sebastian texted him two days later asking to meet up again. He was offering to come back to Mission Hill, so Blaine wasn’t about to complain.

Back at Wagner’s, Sebastian readily took his plate from the waitress. “These jalapeno poppers have been haunting my dreams,” he said by way of explanation. “I figured I’ve lived a good life and if it ended today it would be worth it if I could eat these just one more time. I guess it’s nice to see you too, Blaine,” he added, digging in.

Blaine regarded his own plate, he hadn’t realized the food at Wagner’s was so special. “Thanks?” he said. “You know, Mission Hill isn’t _that_ sketchy, you’re not going to get stabbed or anything.” He caught a glimpse of Sebastian’s watch when he pushed up his sleeves to eat. “Probably,” he added, but he was kidding. Mostly. “You might want to keep that out of sight.”

“Oh this?” Sebastian asked, extending his wrist to show Blaine. “It was a birthday present from Travis.”

“How’s that going?” Blaine asked, admiring the Rolex for a minute before letting Sebastian lower his hand. “At Halloween you guys seemed a little…”

“I told you Blaine, we’re fine,” Sebastian insisted. “That’s kind of just how we work.”

Blaine stood by his previous opinion that a relationship like that sounded exhausting. He didn’t want to seem pushy though, he was hardly an example of the successes of healthy communication in a relationship, so who was he to judge? Given Sebastian’s history of renouncing the concept altogether, Blaine figured if it worked for him, it must be pretty effective.

“Alright,” he said, grabbing his chicken caesar wrap, “but if you ever need to talk about it, you know where to find me.”

Sebastian took another bite of his food. “If I’m coming to find you it’d better be here, I’m not sure what else in this area is worth risking life and limb for.” He smiled though, so Blaine could tell he probably didn’t mean it. At least, not completely. Blaine liked his little neighborhood, he’d grown used to its character, but he could see why someone from Sebastian’s end of town might find it a little dodgy.

Feeling generous, Blaine said, “You know, they do takeout. I can always bring some to you.”

Sebastian’s smile faltered a little, but he hid it well by taking another bite. “No need, Blaine,” he said. “Between these jalapeno poppers and your good company, it’s worth a little sacrifice. Besides, I’m going out of my mind with how boring school is right now, I need to keep my life interesting somehow.”

Blaine couldn’t help but wonder if there was more to it than that, if there was a reason Sebastian “can’t stand the stench of public schools” Smythe was so keen on coming to Mission Hill even when Blaine was offering to go to him in Cambridge. Unable to figure out how to ask, he settled on, “Well, Wagner’s has been here for 25 years so I don’t see it going anywhere anytime soon. We can come whenever you want.”

* * *

“Whenever Sebastian wanted” turned out to be around twice a week. The days varied, but somehow it became a habit. Blaine tried a few times to offer to make the trip to Cambridge but Sebastian always found a reason for them to stay in Blaine’s neighborhood. After a while, Blaine gave up and learned the names of all the Wagner’s waitresses. Still, he knew the food there wasn’t good enough to be worth two trips a week, and he wondered what Sebastian was so desperate to avoid in Cambridge.

Thanksgiving interrupted their usual schedule, and Blaine realized that he really missed the routine. He didn’t go back to Ohio; he’d burned through his frequent flyer miles flying between Ohio and New York when he and Kurt were long-distance and he’d heard enough holiday travel horror stories to not want to take the risk of a Thanksgiving flight. His parents flew to Los Angeles to see Cooper, and Blaine spent the long weekend studying. The apartment was quiet with Nick gone, and Blaine had a lot of time to think.

He’d known Sebastian for a while, obviously, but he was starting to know him so much better now that they met up so frequently. They’d been staying at Wagner’s later and later every night they met, to the point that the following mornings had become two-coffee mornings to keep Blaine from falling asleep during his early classes.

He’d told Sebastian all about music therapy and why it interested him, and while he’d never gone into graphic detail about the intricacies of his breakup with Kurt, he could tell Sebastian understood how messed up he’d been and how he wanted to offer others the respite he’d gotten through music.

In turn, Blaine discovered that contrary to what he’d believed, Sebastian wasn’t looking into law school because of his father. He wasn’t legacy at Harvard like Blaine had assumed; his father had gone to Ohio State and Harvard had been Sebastian’s choice. He liked the thrill of trying to be the smartest guy in the room, and apparently even so early on he was showing signs of promise.

The day before classes were set to resume and a few hours before Nick was supposed to get in from the airport, Blaine looked over the top of his laptop and out the window to see that it was snowing. It was a weird sort of limbo to be in; everything was about to happen, but nothing was happening just yet. Blaine was ready to get back to his usual routine, and he realized with a start that he was most eager to get back to dinner with Sebastian.

He didn’t just miss the routine, or the food, or the nice waitresses who looked the other way when they ordered beer because they were generous tippers and good patrons. He missed Sebastian. They’d become close over the past few weeks, closer than they’d been in high school, and Blaine was starting to see Sebastian as one of his best friends. It was like all they’d needed was the one initial push and all the potential that had been hindered by high school and Kurt and geography had come out in full force.

Sebastian was in Providence meeting Travis’ parents. Blaine had been able to tell that he was nervous, but Sebastian never would’ve admitted it. It was a big step, but Blaine still wasn’t convinced Sebastian’s heart was totally in it. Whenever he’d tried to talk about Travis, Sebastian changed the subject as soon as he thought Blaine wouldn’t notice. Blaine did notice, but he never said anything.

He didn’t want to be nosy. Sebastian’s love life was none of his business, except now that their friendship had grown, Blaine was starting to wonder when it would become his business. At what point should he push to make sure nothing was wrong?

He pulled open his phone and started typing a message.

 **To Sebastian:** _hope Providence was good, it’s snowing like hell here so good luck getting back to Cambridge_

Blaine paused. He’d had no problems talking to Sebastian over mediocre pub food, so he couldn’t figure out why he suddenly didn’t know what to say. After some deliberation he added:

 **To Sebastian:** _this weekend was so boring, Wagner’s tomorrow? I need some socialization before my brain atrophies_

Blaine set his phone down next to his computer, not expecting a response for a while, and was surprised when it vibrated less than a minute later. 

**From Sebastian:** _yes please, before this weekend I thought the Westerville elite was as unbearable as it got but I was very wrong, I need to relearn my place as a man of the people_

Oddly relieved, Blaine firmed up details with Sebastian and closed his laptop. He wasn’t sure why he’d been afraid that Thanksgiving with the Ritters would mean Sebastian would somehow become indefinitely unavailable to hang out, but he was glad that hadn’t changed.

He got up and started the kettle to brew himself a cup of tea. He was mildly unsettled, the earlier feeling of being in limbo had shifted to something more akin to anticipation, like he was gearing up for something big.

Change was in the air, he thought. But then again, that could’ve just been the snow.


	2. Chapter 2

Blaine trudged through the snow the next evening, thankful for his winter boots. He’d known Ohio winters were nothing compared to New England’s, but somehow he’d still been unprepared. The warmth of Wagner’s was a welcome respite, and he grabbed a table, ready to get some hot food.

He turned down the offer of a menu from a waitress, by now he and Sebastian knew it by heart and the waitresses really only offered out of habit. Mentally deliberating the choice between mozzarella sticks or a burger, he happened to catch sight of the clock over the bar.

Sebastian was late.

Blaine didn’t know why he was alarmed. It had been snowing pretty steadily overnight, and though it had cleared up by then there were bound to be delays.The MBTA wasn’t the most reliable transit system in the world, and Blaine knew Sebastian had started using it after a disastrous ride in an Uber that first night.

Still, it wasn’t like Sebastian to be late. If anything he’d somehow been making it to Wagner’s before Blaine did, even though Blaine was only a 15 minute walk away. Blaine checked the time on his phone to make sure the clock was right. He considered sending a text, but Sebastian wasn’t really _that_ late and he didn’t want to be annoying. 

He was startled by a friendly hand coming down on his shoulder from behind him. “Woah, easy,” Sebastian said when he jumped. “It’s just me. I know your reflexes have to be sharp in this neighborhood but I’m not here to rob you.”

“If this neighborhood is really so terrible, you don’t need to come here,” Blaine said for what felt like the hundredth time. “You live in Cambridge, not on Mars, it’s not a huge ordeal for me to get there.”

“It’s fine,” Sebastian said, for what also felt like the hundredth time. “Are you hungry? Let’s eat.”

With impeccable timing, a waitress appeared to take their order. Once she’d left to take it back to the kitchen, Blaine asked, “So what gives? You’re never late.” He tried to make it sound like he was joking, and was only half sure it worked.

Sebastian smiled, and Blaine was only half sure it was sincere. “Travis and I had a fight,” he said, which was more than Blaine had thought he’d admit. “Obviously we had to make up after,” Sebastian added, “and we got a little carried away.”

“Oh- _oh_ ,” Blaine said, realization dawning on him and making his ears go pink. “So you’re, uh… you’re still doing that?”

“We fight, we fuck, we move on.” Sebastian shrugged, “it works.” Blaine had a feeling he'd been saying that to himself for some time. 

“Sebastian, are you sure-” Blaine started to say, but he was cut off by the waitress coming back with their drinks. It was unfortunate timing, but Sebastian almost looked relieved.

“Thank you,” he said to the waitress, and once she’d walked away he turned back to Blaine. “It’s fine,” he said, “I have everything under control, I know what I’m doing.”

He didn’t seem sure, and Blaine didn’t like that. The Sebastian he knew was always sure of himself, right or wrong, but the Sebastian in front of him seemed different. Tired. Blaine tried to think of what he could do to help.

He came up empty that night, and after that things got even harder. The holidays were upon them, which meant finals season was also upon them, and they didn’t meet for over a week because they both had to study. Another dinner was cancelled when delays on the T held Sebastian up so much that he had no choice but to give up and turn around, and after that the semester was nearly over.

They were able to meet up one final time right before Christmas break. Blaine thought it felt weird from the start, almost like they were both trying to figure out how to say goodbye despite the fact that they were going back to the same city. Blaine knew it’d somehow be different there; he didn’t really know what it was like to be Sebastian’s friend outside of Wagner’s, and he wasn’t sure Sebastian knew what to expect either.

Dinner was short, a holiday party by the bar had gotten loud and neither of them felt the need to stick around for another drunken round of Jingle Bells. They stepped out of Wagner’s to find it was snowing. Hard. 

“Sebastian, you can't go back to Cambridge in this,” Blaine said, pulling his jacket tighter around him. “The roads are going to be too bad for anyone to drive you and you'll get frostbite in the time it takes the T to get you anywhere, if it’s running at all.”

Sebastian regarded the piles of snow that had already started to accumulate. “You're right,” he conceded, then smiled. “Does this mean I get to see Chez Blaine Warbler?”

“You’ll have to walk through Mission Hill for fifteen minutes at night in bad weather,” Blaine warned.

“What’s life without a little adventure?” Sebastian asked, and when he grinned Blaine thought he looked more like his old self than he had in a long time.

* * *

In the end it took more than fifteen minutes, the snow was heavy enough that Blaine could hardly see in front of him. By then he had the route memorized so navigation wasn’t an issue, but the snow was drifting over the sidewalk, making it hard to walk. Blaine checked behind him every few minutes, but Sebastian stayed close. He fumbled with his key when they got to his building, even through his gloves his hands had become stiff with cold.

They made it up to his apartment relatively unscathed though, and Sebastian couldn’t have been too distressed by the journey because as soon as Blaine flipped the lights on, he started to laugh.

Blaine had to admit that to an outsider his apartment must seem a little… odd. It was full of half-broken hand-me-downs with just enough new additions to make the contrast a little jarring. “What is this place?” Sebastian asked, still laughing. “I didn’t realize you lived in a storage shed someone abandoned five years ago.”

“Hey,” said Blaine, a little defensive. “I blow my household goods budget and most of my food budget on my Wagner’s bill, you don’t get to make fun of me and Nick for our spoils from Allston Christmas.”

“Blaine, it’s not Christmas yet,” said Sebastian, sitting down on the couch. “And most of this stuff looks like it’s been here awhile.”

Pulling a folding chair out from the card table he and Nick called a kitchen table, Blaine set it down opposite Sebastian and sat down. “90% of Boston leases end on September 1st,” he explained. “Allston Christmas is when everyone leaves free stuff on the curb because they don’t want to take it when they move. Nick and I take the stuff they don’t want, everyone wins.”

Sebastian eyed the couch uneasily. “And you got this couch…?”

“...when the previous tenant couldn’t get it back down the stairs,” Blaine finished. “I’ve checked it for bedbugs Sebastian, you’re fine.”

That seemed to be enough for Sebastian, who relaxed a little at the reassurance. He looked out the window. “Damn, it’s really coming down,” he said. “I hope this doesn’t fuck up my flight.”

“When do you leave?” Blaine asked. They hadn’t actually discussed their travel plans yet, and Blaine realized he had no idea when Sebastian’s semester even ended.

“Tomorrow,” Sebastian said. “Although if this keeps up maybe not.”

“I don’t leave for Ohio until Sunday,” Blaine said, although Sebastian hadn’t asked. “Nick’s been gone for a few days, Northeastern runs on a different schedule.”

Sebastian laughed, “I was about to ask where he went. Can we go fuck with stuff in his room? I still want revenge for Halloween.”

“The computers in his room are worth more than that Rolex of yours,” Blaine said, “and he needs them for school.” Sebastian rolled his eyes, and Blaine thought for a second. “That doesn’t mean we can’t mess with his food.”

* * *

“This is evil,” Blaine said, handing Sebastian his bottle of sriracha. “And he’ll probably notice before he eats anything.”

“It was your idea to fuck with his food,” Sebastian reminded him, pouring the hot sauce into the half-empty ketchup bottle marked “NICK’S.” He screwed the cap back on and shook up the contents before admiring his handiwork. “He’s definitely not going to notice, I’ve seen that kid eat. He doesn’t think about what’s going into his mouth until it’s already there.” Blaine snorted, and Sebastian laughed too. “Dick jokes aside, please promise me you’ll get video of this.”

Blaine nodded solemnly, “I’ll do what I can.”

Sebastian checked his watch. “Oh shit,” he said. “Do you need to sleep or something?”

“Do you?” asked Blaine. “I’m not the one with a flight tomorrow.”

“I don’t really sleep well before I travel,” Sebastian confessed. “Too restless.”

“Then I don’t need to sleep either,” said Blaine. “I’m going to make some tea, do you want any?”

“I won’t say no,” Sebastian said, and he settled back onto the couch.

* * *

A few hours and a few cups of tea later, Sebastian was more relaxed than Blaine had seen him since moving to Boston. Blaine had drifted from his folding chair to join Sebastian on the couch, and they’d settled comfortably across from each other. Conversation wove between school, the city, and stories about Christmases from when they were little kids.

After a while, Blaine asked, “So what are your plans for New Year’s? Are you going to be in Ohio?” He didn’t know why, but he was hoping Sebastian would say yes.

“No, I’ll be here in Boston,” Sebastian said, sounding almost as disappointed as Blaine felt. “Travis and I are getting together, there’s a big party downtown.”

Feeling brave, Blaine ventured, “Are you guys alright? You don’t sound too happy about spending New Year’s Eve with your boyfriend.”

Sebastian sighed, and Blaine thought he might actually making some progress. “It’s hard sometimes,” Sebastian admitted, “but we still have fun. I really do like him, Blaine.”

Blaine believed him. Still, he knew all too well what it was like to have feelings for someone in a relationship that made you miserable. He was sympathetic to Sebastian’s plight, he knew how hard it could be to get out of a bad situation, and he wanted to help. “Sometimes that’s not enough,” Blaine offered.

“Sometimes it feels like it’s not.” Sebastian shrugged and put his mug down on the coffee table.

“Sebastian,” Blaine said softly, articulating for the first time what he'd been thinking for a while. “Why don't you guys just break up?”

“Because I'm a coward and so is he,” Sebastian said bluntly, taking Blaine by surprise. “He doesn’t want to admit he failed to reform me, so he wants to make it work. And if I can’t make it work with him, that makes me…” he trailed off, sounding defeated. Blaine wasn't used to Sebastian sounding defeated, and he didn't like it. Sebastian shook his head as if he was trying to clear it and stood up. “I should go,” he said. “It looks like it's cleared up out there and my flight leaves...” He checked his watch. “In a few hours, actually. I should really get going.”

Blaine stood up too as Sebastian made for the door. “Okay,” he said, not sure what came next. “Will I see you in Ohio?”

“Yeah, I think Thad’s throwing some kind of party and it promises to be a hot mess, so of course I’ll be there, camera in hand,” said Sebastian, the lighter tone sounding a little forced but not disingenuous. “A bunch of drunk Warblers trying to harmonize Santa Baby? I wouldn't miss it.”

Blaine laughed, also a little forced but also not disingenuous. “Good,” he said. “I’ll text you.”

Sebastian smiled and opened the door. “Sounds like a plan to me,” and with that he was gone.

* * *

Blaine’s 6am flight out of Logan Airport meant that by Sunday afternoon he’d landed in Ohio, gotten something to eat, and done the requisite catching up with his parents. Restless, he pulled out his phone and started what would turn out to be the first of several frustrating conversations.

 **To Nick:** _hey do you want me to come play mariokart with you_

 **From Nick:** _what’s wrong_

 **To Nick:** _nothing?_  
**To Nick:** _I know Jeff’s in the Caribbean with his family for Christmas this year and you don’t have anyone to play with but yourself_

 **From Nick:** _heh_  
**From Nick:** _seriously though what’s wrong_

 **To Nick:** _do you want me to come over or not?_

 **From Nick:** _I’ll make myself decent, see you in 20_

Blaine had a sinking feeling that Nick wasn’t going to let it go that easily, he knew Blaine too well and had been friends with him for too long to not realize something was up. The problem was, Blaine didn’t know what was going on. He felt disconnected, like something in his brain wasn’t lining up right. He couldn’t wrap his mind around it, and he’d hoped a few hours of mindless gaming with Nick might distract him enough that he could get a break from trying to make sense of things.

He made it to Nick’s house in less than twenty minutes, but Nick seemed to have been waiting for him. Shrugging off his jacket and kicking off his shoes as he walked inside, Blaine regarded Nick skeptically. He was barefoot and in sweats that had holes the size of quarters in them, topped off with a Star Wars t-shirt that had seen better days.

“This is what you call decent?” he asked, following Nick down the hall to his room, where a truly impressive array of gaming consoles awaited them.

“Don’t try to change the subject,” said Nick, apparently not caring that they hadn’t actually started a conversation yet. “What’s wrong?” Blaine had a feeling he’d was going to get asked that a lot.

“I told you, nothing,” insisted Blaine, but he was met with a raised eyebrow from Nick. “I don’t want to talk about it,” he said, which was close enough to the truth that Nick seemed to accept it, at least for the time being.

Nick shrugged. “Alright, but I’m not going to let you win.”

* * *

Nick didn’t let him win, he kicked his ass, and he didn’t let it go either. His pestering about what was bothering Blaine stopped just short of invasive, and Blaine deflected enough of his questions that he could tell Nick was starting to get worried. Blaine felt bad for not keeping Nick in the loop, but he wasn’t even sure what the loop was, let alone how talk to someone about it.

A few days later, Nick was kicking Blaine’s ass in Super Smash Bros when the subject of Thad’s party came up. “Are you going?” Nick asked. “I heard even Wes is coming so you really don’t have an excuse not to.” For any other party it wouldn’t have even been a question, but Nick could tell Blaine was dragging his feet.

“Probably,” said Blaine. “Who else is going?”

“The usual crowd,” Nick said, thoroughly beating Blaine for the third time in a row. “Thad obviously, Trent, Wes, David.” He queued up another round. “Not Jeff, but I’ve been instructed to drink for both of us so he’ll be there in spirit.”

“Sebastian’s not going?” asked Blaine, trying to sound casual.

Nick shrugged. “I dunno,” he said. “Why?”

Still trying to sound casual, Blaine said, “He just said he might be going, and I was wondering if he was.” He wasn’t completely focused on the screen in front of him and was losing worse than ever.

Nick’s focus had not faltered, and he didn’t even look at Blaine when he asked, “Why do you care? And when did you even talk to him?”

“We… may have met up a few times last semester,” Blaine said, giving up completely and putting his controller down. “We’d go to Wagner’s and hang out sometimes.”

“Beating you isn’t fun when you don’t fight back,” Nick said, but he paused the game so he could talk to Blaine. “And you got Sebastian to come to Mission Hill? How?”

Blaine shrugged. “He really likes the food,” he said. It wasn’t a lie, that was what Sebastian had been telling him for weeks, even though Blaine wasn’t totally sure he believed it anymore.

“Okay, that’s weird,” Nick said. “But because I’m a good friend I will find out if he’s going for you.” He grabbed his phone and started typing. “I’ll tell you if he is as soon as you tell me at least a little bit of what’s going on.”

Putting his face in his hands and groaning, Blaine finally agreed. “Fine,” he said. “I’ll tell you one thing.”

Nick’s phone vibrated. “I’ve got my answer from Thad,” he said. “Your turn.”

Not sure where to start, Blaine opted for, “We’ve actually been hanging out a lot and it got kind of weird last time.”

“How much is a lot?” Nick asked warily, and Blaine tried to look noncommittal. “Wait, is this where you’ve been going every night?” 

Guiltily, Blaine shrugged. “Not every night,” he said, and that was apparently all the confirmation Nick needed.

“Oh my god, Blaine,” Nick said. “I thought you were taking a night class. That’s a hell of a commute to make so often, and we both know the food at Wagner’s isn’t that good. You’re right, that is weird.”

“Right?” Blaine said, even though that hadn’t been exactly it. Still, he hoped it was enough to get Nick to lay off.

“Well he’s going to the party and now so are you,” Nick said. “Your weirdness cannot interfere with the sanctity of a Warblers party, I won’t have it. Do you want to play Portal?”

The new game was Nick’s way of giving Blaine a break. Blaine knew Nick would still make him go to the party, but at least they didn’t have to talk about it anymore.

“Sure,” he said, and picked up his controller.

* * *

Blaine was late. He’d hit a number of roadblocks on his way to Thad’s, including but not limited to a literal roadblock in the form of a DWI checkpoint. Traffic had slowed to a crawl and Blaine didn’t dare try to text anyone with so many cops around, even at a total standstill. His mom had warned him on his way out the door that the police would be everywhere checking for irresponsible holiday partiers during the time between Christmas and New Year’s. He knew she knew he’d never drink and drive and just wanted him to be safe, so he promised her he’d secured Thad’s sister’s old bedroom for the night.

That didn’t change the fact that he was late, and by the time he arrived the party was in full-swing. “Blaine!” called Nick from across the room, subtle as ever. He made his way to Blaine, saying, “We thought you weren’t coming! You look like you need a drink, take this.” He pressed his drink into Blaine’s hands. 

Blaine took it readily, though he winced at the first sip. “What is this?” he asked, grimacing but drinking more anyway.

“Dunno,” Nick said, but Blaine wasn’t sure that was true. “David mixed it. Do you want something else?”

Blaine scanned the crowd nervously. No sign of Sebastian. He took another drink and said, “This is fine. Have you seen-”

He was cut off by a loud burst of laughter from the kitchen. Puzzled, he looked at Nick, who shrugged and walked away to find another drink. Blaine followed the noise to a group of guys surrounding a familiar voice.

Sebastian was finishing a story with, “-and that, gentlemen, is why you don’t go to Mission Hill after dark.” The guys around him erupted with laughter again, and Blaine wondered what Sebastian had told them, knowing full well it probably wasn’t true. He wandered closer, and Sebastian spotted him.

“Blaine!” Sebastian called. “I see you made it. Can I get you a drink or did Nick trick you into drinking some of his moonshine?”

Blaine legitimately couldn’t tell if Sebastian was joking; ordinarily he’d assume he was making fun of Nick’s cheap taste in liquor, but whatever was in Blaine’s cup actually tasted like it could be moonshine. “Hey,” said Blaine as the guys Sebastian had been regaling dispersed and occupied themselves elsewhere.

As he moved closer, Blaine noticed that the cup Sebastian was holding was big, and also that it was empty. It was by no means early, but the night was far from over and Sebastian’s eyes were already kind of glazed over. It occurred to Blaine that while he’d seen Sebastian drink, he’d never actually seen him drunk. He wondered if that was going to change tonight. He’d made Trent promise to babysit Nick, but he was starting to think Nick might not be the one who would need babysitting. 

“Come on,” Sebastian said, gesturing towards Blaine’s cup, “Drink that faster. You have a lot of catching up to do.”

Blaine rolled his eyes but did as he was told, draining the cup quickly but choking at the very end when the gasoline Nick called liquor hit his stomach. “God, that's awful,” he said, and he showed Sebastian that his drink was gone. “Happy?”

“Getting there,” Sebastian said, grinning slowly but easily, “but if you're going to keep up you've got to work on that gag reflex. I have a few tips if you're interested.”

Blaine’s head spun, only partially from the booze. “What?” he asked, not sure if he'd heard right. 

Sebastian just patted him on the shoulder. “Let's go get more,” he said.

Blaine followed him to the dining room table that was serving as a bar, and decided that it might be best if he mixed their drinks for a while. He grabbed a bottle of vodka and a bottle of cranberry juice, opting for simplicity over anything more ambitious. Sebastian didn’t seem to mind, and took his cup from Blaine with a nod of appreciation.

“So… how was your Christmas?” Blaine asked, not sure of what to say.

“Do you really care?” Sebastian asked bluntly, taking another drink.

“Of cour-” Blaine started, and then he realized he didn’t. That wasn’t why he was here, he didn’t want to make small talk, he just wanted to see his friend. And maybe get a little wasted. “No,” he finished, not sure if the honesty was alcohol-induced or not. Whatever Nick had given him had been strong, and he could already feel it working through his system.

Sebastian smirked at him. “Exactly,” he said. “Drink.”

* * *

Blaine kept mixing their drinks. After a certain point they started tasting better, which meant that he was either using less alcohol (which seemed unlikely) or they’d had too much. He was refilling their cups when Sebastian stepped away to have a talk with Trent about how playing house remixes of Taylor Swift at parties was uncool regardless of whether or not he had rights as the designated driver. 

He was laughing at the level stare Sebastian was giving Trent when Nick joined him. “Oh, I see,” Nick said, not quite slurring his words, but close. “This is what you’ve been all twisted up over.”

“What?” Blaine asked, taking another drink. He tried to look like he didn’t know what Nick was talking about.

“You’re so far gone,” Nick said. “The last time I saw that look on your face, Kurt was singing about a dead bird.”

“It’s not like that,” Blaine insisted, unsure if he was trying to convince Nick or himself. “He hasn’t been himself lately, I’m worried about him.”

Nick nodded. “Alright, sure it’s not,” he said, nudging Blaine with his elbow to draw attention to the fact that he was still looking at Sebastian. They watched together as Trent handed the iPod over to Sebastian, who scrolled through the contents and, apparently displeased with what he found, immediately handed it off to Wes. The two became wrapped up in a discussion that Blaine couldn’t hear but assumed was about song selection.

Blaine caught himself smiling into his cup, and he could feel Nick watching him. For once in his life, Nick wasn’t the drunkest person in the room, and Blaine could tell he was putting some pieces of the puzzle together. “It’s not like that,” he said again, but he didn’t even believe himself.

“Okay, sure,” Nick said as Sebastian seemed to give up on Wes and made his way back to them. “Just be careful, Blaine. He has a boyfriend.”

Before Blaine could respond, Sebastian was back and Nick was gone. Suddenly he wasn’t having fun anymore. By the looks of it, Sebastian was also starting to fade, and Blaine felt the need to keep them both from embarrassing themselves. 

Sebastian protested when Blaine pried the drink from his hands. “You just made this, Blaine. Why are you taking away perfectly good alcohol?” he asked. “It’ll go to waste.”

Blaine looked around. “Hey,” he said to David, who was standing nearby talking to a Warbler Blaine didn’t know. He held up both of their cups. “Do you want these?”

David and his friend had no problems taking the drinks off their hands, and Blaine had to push a still-complaining Sebastian up the stairs towards Thad’s sister’s bedroom. She’d moved out years ago but his parents had kept her room as it was; pink, fluffy, and most importantly with a queen-sized bed. A few people saw them leave together, but Blaine ignored the implications. He’d be getting a lot of meaningful looks from Nick, and he’d probably have to swear a blood oath to Thad that they hadn’t had sex on the bed, but it was worth it for the quiet.

“Sit down,” said Blaine, and Sebastian surprisingly obeyed. “I’ll be right back,” he added, and when he returned a few minutes later he handed Sebastian a bottle of water. “You’re going to want this.”

Sebastian took the bottle and drank. “You know,” he said when he was done, “you don’t have to babysit me.”

Blaine shrugged, taking a drink from his own bottle. “Someone has to take care of you.”

Sebastian sighed and flopped backwards on the bed with a lack of grace that was utterly unlike him. “Why do you care, Blaine?”

Blaine sat down next to him, and giving in to gravity, he let himself fall backwards as well. “You’re my friend,” he said, saying it like it was obvious. He thought it had been. “And you’re clearly not okay. What’s going on with you and Travis? I hate seeing you like this.” He honestly did, and thanks to the alcohol, Blaine was feeling honest. 

“I dunno, you tell me,” Sebastian said. “You’re the relationship expert.”

“Hardly,” Blaine scoffed. “I proposed to my first boyfriend and he dumped me almost as soon as we started living together.”

Sebastian closed his eyes, and Blaine realized he hadn’t been looking anywhere else. “It was good while it lasted though, right?” Sebastian asked, starting to drift off.

 _Not really_ , a traitorous part of Blaine’s mind supplied, but he refocused in an attempt to be helpful. “Sebastian-” he started, but Sebastian was already asleep.

* * *

When Blaine woke up the next morning, Sebastian was gone. He wandered around the house a little, running into a few Warblers in various states of consciousness, but Sebastian had definitely left. Nick was on the couch nursing a glass of orange juice when Blaine found him.

“Hey,” Blaine said, sitting down next to him. “Too much moonshine?”

“Don’t make me laugh,” Nick groaned. “It hurts too much.”

“Did you see Sebastian leave?” Blaine asked.

Nick drank some more orange juice. “Yeah,” he said, looking mildly nauseated, “He flew out of here pretty quickly. Lovers’ quarrel?”

“That’s not funny Nick,” said Blaine, and his tone must’ve conveyed how not funny it was, because Nick looked up from his glass.

“That bad?” he asked, concern surpassing nausea.

“I don’t know,” Blaine said, collapsing against the couch. “I asked him about Travis, he asked me about Kurt, and then we both passed out.”

Nick turned back to his orange juice, considering it for a moment before making himself drink more with what seemed to be a herculean amount of effort. “Yikes,” he said.

“Do you have sprinkles in your hair?” Blaine asked. Nick was in no position to judge his life choices.

“We made Christmas cookies,” Nick said, as if that was supposed to mean anything to Blaine. “Do you want me to ask around to see if any of the guys have heard from him?”

Blaine knew that wasn’t going to get him much, but he said, “That would be great, thank you.”

He got Nick some more orange juice and a few ibuprofen before he left, thankful that he’d switched to vodka before drinking any more of whatever the hell Nick had brought. The house was empty when he got home, and Blaine was glad he had some time to think.

He made himself lunch and ate it while scrolling through Facebook. He wasn’t sure if he was looking for distraction or some clue as to what Sebastian was up to, but after an hour he hadn’t found either, and he closed his laptop with a sigh.

Blaine didn’t want to leave things the way he had with Sebastian. There was something wrong between them, and Blaine had a feeling it had something to do with the fact that Sebastian would probably be returning to Boston within the next few days. Even before Christmas he clearly hadn’t been excited, it was more like he’d resigned himself to it. Blaine remembered what that felt like.

Towards the end with Kurt, every date night, every breakfast cooked together, every trip to the grocery store had been exhausting. Blaine had loved Kurt, he truly had, but they’d been forcing it out of a sense of obligation. They’d thought they were the real thing, true love, but wanting to make something work didn’t mean it was going to, no matter how hard they tried.

Blaine had been devastated when Kurt walked away. He’d felt like a failure, like he couldn’t keep the one good thing in his life going. He’d thought that if he’d been a little more loving, a little more considerate, or a little more careful he could have somehow saved them. 

But once the dust settled and the music and the Warblers and the distance had helped him move on, Blaine realized he felt lighter. The guilt that had been weighing him down had lifted, and he was free to do things for himself. He no longer had to justify every move he made, and the freedom that came with making his own choices rather than choices that were best for his failing relationship allowed him to start over.

All he’d known for years was Kurt, and he’d been afraid to try again. He still was, to a certain extent; he didn’t know what he was like with anyone else and though the breakup with Kurt had in the end been a good thing, he wasn’t particularly interested in a repeat performance. The experience had been brutal, and watching Sebastian force himself into the same situation was painful. He couldn’t in good conscience let it happen.

Blaine pulled out his phone and opened a text to Nick.

 **To Nick:** _don’t make this weirder than it needs to be, but do you know where Sebastian lives?_

Miraculously, Nick wasn’t passed out from the hangover yet, and he was able to give Blaine an address. He didn’t say much more than that, but Blaine could feel the disapproval through his phone. Ignoring it, he grabbed his keys and got in his car.

* * *

Blaine had never been to Sebastian’s place, Kurt never would have allowed it, but he found the right house relatively quickly, and after shoring up his courage he rang the doorbell.

Fortunately, it was Sebastian who answered the door. “Blaine!” he said, clearly surprised. “What are you doing here? And how do you know where I live? If you're stalking me I'm gonna need copies of the naked pics to make sure you've captured my good side.”

“Can I talk to you?” Blaine asked, and Sebastian’s smile flickered. 

“Sure,” he said, but he didn’t seem sure. There’d been a lot of that lately.

Blaine stepped inside and it appeared that Sebastian was home alone. Grateful for the privacy, Blaine started, “I think-”

“Don’t,” Sebastian interrupted. “I know what you’re here to say, so don’t.”

“I’m here because I think you’re miserable,” Blaine insisted, “and I’m really hoping you can prove me wrong.”

Sebastian stilled. “I’m fine, Blaine. I can take care of myself.”

Blaine couldn’t help but push more. “Why are you doing this?” he asked. Sebastian didn’t seem to have an answer for him, so Blaine continued, “Sebastian, I’m your friend, I can’t let you-”

“Is that why you’re here? As my friend?” Sebastian interrupted him again, and Blaine found he didn’t have a good answer. He opened his mouth to say something, but couldn’t think of anything and closed it again. “Exactly,” Sebastian said. “Blaine, I’ve always been _that guy_. Everyone expects me to fuck it up and cheat on him, and I’m trying really hard not to do that. Please don’t make this harder than it has to be.”

The words “cheat on him” hit Blaine like a bucket of ice water. He’d been that guy, he’d done that to someone, and he didn’t want to pressure Sebastian into making a decision he’d regret. Blaine didn’t really know what he’d thought he’d get out of this conversation, but the revelation that Sebastian wanted him enough that keeping himself away was a struggle was more than he’d expected.

“Okay,” said Blaine, not sure what else to say. “I’ll leave it alone.”

“I can’t let myself be worse at this than I already am.” Sebastian looked tired. He always looked tired these days. “I have to go pack,” he said. “I leave tomorrow.”

“Okay,” Blaine said again. “Have fun.”

“Yeah,” Sebastian said, but it sounded more like an echo, a shadow of his former self.

Blaine showed himself out.


	3. Chapter 3

The rest of winter break felt like a decade. Blaine quietly celebrated the new year with Nick and a recently-returned, hilariously sunburned Jeff, but his heart wasn’t in it. Nick hadn’t asked what had happened with Sebastian but he could tell something was up. He stayed close, dragging Blaine out of the house when he kept to himself for too long and trying to force him to be social. Nick wasn't a particularly social creature to begin with, so they were met with mixed results. 

Blaine was relieved when it was finally time to fly back to Boston. Nick’s classes had started before Blaine’s, and the last few days in Ohio by himself had been awful. Alone, bored, and antsy, Blaine had been at a loss for what to do. He couldn’t even trust himself with the internet; Sebastian had shown up tagged in New Year’s Eve pictures and Blaine had clicked through all of them, fully aware that it was a bad idea.

He’d expected to find some sign that Sebastian wanted out, some indication of how unhappy he was. Instead, Blaine saw picture after picture of Sebastian having what looked like the time of his life. Sebastian had always been good at putting on a show though, and Blaine couldn’t help but wonder how much of the excitement was fake.

When he’d finally made it back to Mission Hill and unpacked everything, he walked into the kitchen to find Nick already making a snack. Blaine wasn’t really hungry but he needed to do something with his hands, so he rummaged through the fridge in an attempt to find something that hadn’t gone bad while they’d been away.

“Those things are going to give you cancer,” he said to Nick as he pulled a tray of french fries out of the microwave. “They already have like, negative nutritional value and all you’re doing is adding radiation.”

“Embrace the future, Blaine,” Nick said. “Can you grab my ketchup?”

A sudden flash of recollection meant Blaine struggled to keep a straight face as he handed over the bottle and Nick coated his fries. “You’re going to regret that,” he said.

“Whatever,” Nick said, and he grabbed a few fries. “You’re the one who goes to Wagner’s twice a week, you don’t get to talk to me about sodium content.”

“I didn’t say anything about sodium-” Blaine started, but he had to clap a hand over his mouth to stifle his laughter when Nick took a bite and immediately choked. Reaching into the fridge, Blaine grabbed a bottle of water and handed it to him. He tried not to laugh; it felt mean, but Nick’s face had been priceless.

“Why, Blaine?” Nick asked, coughing. “Why would you do this?”

“It wasn’t me!” Blaine insisted. “It was...” his smile faded, and he sighed. “It was Sebastian.” Suddenly it wasn’t as funny.

Nick put the offensive french fries down with obvious disdain and sat down at the kitchen table. He gestured for Blaine to sit with him. “You brought Sebastian back here?” he asked. His voice was hoarse, but his tone was serious. 

Blaine took the offered seat and sat down. “Yeah,” he confessed. “Right before break. It was snowing and he couldn’t make it back to Cambridge so we came here. I told you, it got weird the last time we hung out. I asked him why he and Travis hadn’t broken up and he didn’t have a good answer for me. He bolted pretty soon after that.”

“Why did you go to his house after the party?” Nick asked, calmer than someone who’d just ingested a mouthful of sriracha had any right to be.

Unwilling to avoid the truth any longer, Blaine decided to tell Nick everything. “I went because when he talks about Travis he looks like Kurt used to look at me. I can tell he doesn’t want to be there, but it’s like he’s too scared to leave. I wanted to tell him that he’s not a bad person for wanting to get out of a bad situation.”

“Does this have anything to do with your feelings for him?” Nick asked.

“No, I’m just really worried about him,” said Blaine. He focused his gaze on the table.

“Right,” Nick said, obviously not convinced. “But you do have feelings for him?”

“Yeah,” Blaine said. He’d been trying to avoid admitting it at all, even to himself, and it was weird to say it out loud. “But it doesn’t matter. I’ve been a cheater Nick, and it’s not a good feeling. I’m not going to put him in that position. He told me he doesn’t want to be that guy anymore and I’m not going to make him.”

Nick sighed. “Were you happy with Kurt when you cheated on him?”

Blaine wasn’t expecting that. “Well no, things hadn’t been good for a while, but it still wasn’t right-”

“I’m not saying it was,” interrupted Nick. “I’m saying there were symptoms of bigger problems, and you ignored them until something blew up in your face. I watched it happen, Blaine, it wasn’t pretty. Now, did those problems go away after you fixed the cheating thing?”

Blaine thought for a minute. “No,” he said, looking up at Nick after considering the question. “Not really, obviously. If they had I’d still be in New York. Where are you going with this?”

Nick gave him a look that indicated exactly how well he’d gotten to know him. “Don’t give Sebastian a reason to cheat on Travis with you,” he said. “But if you’re worried about him, speak up. I wish I’d done that for you.”

“I wouldn’t have listened,” Blaine said, trying to sound like he was joking but not entirely sure he was. He wondered what kind of misgivings Nick had had about Kurt, and how long he’d kept them quiet. “Do you think he’ll listen to me?”

“You won’t know until you try, right?” Nick said. “Just… be careful, Blaine. I don’t want you to get hurt.” Standing up, he tossed his ruined food in the trash with one final look of betrayal. “You owe me new ketchup.”

Blaine was relieved by the change in subject, and felt a surge of appreciation for Nick. “You know,” he said, “you’re pretty good at this for someone who has the social aptitude of an onion.”

Nick opened the freezer. “Maybe I’m just gifted,” he said. “Do you want some cancer fries?”

Blaine accepted them gratefully.

* * *

It took Blaine a week and a half to work up the nerve to text Sebastian, and when he finally did, he was rewarded with silence. Sebastian had seemed to indicate that they should spend less time together, but no contact at all? Blaine wasn’t ready for that. He tried again the next day, and again the day after that. 

He was starting to feel annoying. Accepting that the line between casual and desperate had already been crossed, Blaine picked up his phone and dialed Sebastian’s number. The phone rang three times before Sebastian answered.

“Blaine, now’s not really a good time,” Sebastian said, and if Blaine thought he’d sounded tired before, this was a whole new level of exhausted.

“Are you okay?” he asked, though the question concerned something different than what Blaine had called about. A rattling cough from the other end of the line answered before Sebastian could.

“I’m fine,” Sebastian said. “I have bronchitis. It sucks, but it’ll go away if everyone would just leave me the fuck alone.”

Blaine wasn’t offended; he had a feeling the remark wasn’t really targeted at him. “Well, do you need anything?” he asked. “Who’s with you? Is Travis there?”

Another cough rattled through the phone. “No one’s here because I’m fine. I set up a 100 yard radius and no one’s allowed in it because apparently I’m contagious, but I have water, Advil, and Netflix to keep me company until this blows over.”

Sebastian was obviously sicker than he would have had Blaine believe, he’d never been one to admit any kind of weakness and Blaine knew that would apply to illness. Worse, he was by himself. “Listen, Sebastian-” he started, but was cut off.

“I’m fine, Blaine. Leave it alone.” A click of disconnection followed by dead air told Blaine that Sebastian had hung up on him.

* * *

Blaine couldn’t let it slide. If Sebastian was admitting he was sick at all, it must’ve been serious. That cough had sounded brutal, and Blaine wondered if Sebastian was staying properly hydrated. The fact that Sebastian was alone was worrying Blaine even more. Where were all his Harvard friends? It hit him that Sebastian’s Harvard friends might not be close enough to understand the situation. He had to help.

On the way to the T, Blaine stopped at Wagner’s. They had an amazing noodle soup, and as Blaine grabbed the to-go bag, he wondered what Sebastian had managed to feed himself and how long he had even been sick. A diagnosis meant a doctor, and a doctor meant that at some point Sebastian’s stubbornness had been subdued by the bronchitis. It must’ve been bad.

The commute to Cambridge was long enough and cold enough that the soup would need to be reheated, and Blaine took the extra time to consider what he was doing. He didn’t know what he was walking into or what he’d find when he got there, but he had to try to do something. 

He wasn’t overly familiar with Cambridge, and it took him a while to find the right place. Blaine finally came across the house from the party and stepped up to the door. He realized as he rang the doorbell that he wasn’t even totally certain that Sebastian actually lived there. He’d only been once and only for a party, so the address could be totally wrong. His question was answered when a girl who was decidedly not Sebastian answered the door. “Um, hi,” he said. “Is Sebastian home?”

“Sebastian Smythe?” she asked, somehow making Blaine feel underdressed with her skinny jeans and Brand New t-shirt. Blaine abstractly wondered if the air of casual confidence and easy charm was an introductory course at Harvard or just a requirement for getting in.

“Yeah,” said Blaine. “I was here for Halloween, I wanted to bring him something because he's sick.”

The girl nodded. “It was Sebastian's party but my house,” she explained. “He lives down the street in 130, first floor. If he's sick tell him Kris says she'll beat him up if he tries to recover too fast. He gave me strep last year when he came to class before his doctor had cleared him.”

“Thank you,” Blaine said sincerely. “I’ll tell him.” 

Kris paused for a second, regarding him closely. “Are you Blaine?” she asked, and he nodded. “Interesting,” she said. Apparently satisfied with his confirmation, she waved and wished him good luck before closing the door, and Blaine made his way further down the street. 

He hesitated when he got to the right place. He wasn’t even sure he’d be welcome, but he knew he’d regret it if he didn’t at least try. He knocked quickly, and feeling insecure, he held onto the soup and waited. 

When Sebastian opened the door, he gave Blaine a weary look of someone who was truly ill and unprepared for any form of excitement, welcome or not. “You shouldn’t be here,” he said.

“I brought soup,” said Blaine, holding up the bag and trying not to sound too hopeful. 

Sebastian eyed the takeout bag. “Is that from Wagner’s?”

Blaine nodded. “Mmhmm,” he said, “but it doesn't go inside unless I do.”

Sebastian shivered a little and Blaine felt bad for making him stand with the door open to the cold. “Fine,” he conceded. “Don't call me when you get sick though, or when you die because Nick tried to take care of you.”

Taking it for the victory it was, Blaine followed Sebastian inside. “Microwave?” he asked, but found the kitchen before Sebastian could answer. Rummaging through the cabinets for a bowl, Blaine said, “You know, you really should take better care of yourself.”

Coughing a little, Sebastian sat down at the kitchen table and blearily watched Blaine make himself at home. “I have been,” he insisted. “I have it under control.”

Blaine gave him a look. “If I had a dime for every time I heard you say that, I could afford a place like this.” It was true, Sebastian's place was significantly nicer than Blaine and Nick’s. Blaine wasn't overly jealous, but he eyed the kitchen appliances with a touch of envy. The microwave dinged and Blaine cautiously pulled out the hot bowl and set it on the table in front of Sebastian. “Eat,” he said, and sat down across from him. 

Sebastian rolled his eyes but did as he was told and after a few bites he conceded, “This is really good. You didn't have to bring it all the way here, though. Don't you have anything better to do?”

“Not really,” Blaine admitted, then shrugged. “Besides, you're sick, what kind of friend would I be if I let you sit here by yourself?”

Taking a break from his soup to cough, Sebastian noted Blaine’s look of concern. “Don't look at me like that,” he said. “Bronchitis isn’t a good look, I’ve never felt less sexy.”

Blaine didn't think that was necessarily true. Yes, Sebastian did look unwell, but there was something charming about seeing him in an old Dalton lacrosse hoodie and sweats. His guard was down, and Blaine hoped it would be enough for Sebastian to let him in. 

“I’m worried about you,” said Blaine. He wasn’t sure it was the best time to be bringing it up, but he had to do it before he lost his nerve. He hated the idea of hitting Sebastian while he was sick and vulnerable, but he had a feeling that if his walls went back up, Blaine might not get another chance.

“It’s bronchitis, not cancer,” Sebastian said. “Give me a week and I’ll be back to my old self.”

Blaine watched him take a ragged breath, followed by more coughing. “That’s not what I mean and you know it,” he said. “And I don’t think you’ve been your old self for a while.”

Sebastian put his spoon down. “If we’re going to have this conversation I need to be lying down,” he said. “I don’t think I can deflect and keep myself upright at the same time.”

He made his way to the couch and reclined against one of the arms while Blaine put away what was left of the soup. When it was safely in the fridge, Blaine joined Sebastian in the living room, sitting down gingerly on a nearby armchair. He wasn’t sure where to start.

Sebastian beat him to it. “I know you’re here to tell me how miserable I am,” he said. “And I’m too tired to tell you you’re wrong.”

Surprised, Blaine said, “Then why don’t you end it? How is it worth all this?”

Sebastian scoffed, then coughed. “Have you met me? I don’t like being bad at things, and I’m _really_ bad at this. I keep thinking I need to try harder.”

“Maybe you’re just bad at it with him,” Blaine suggested. “Relationships can’t work if you’re not good for each other, no matter how hard you try.”

“Maybe,” Sebastian echoed. “I guess-” He was interrupted by a knock on the door. 

“Do you want me to get it?” Blaine asked, and closing his eyes, Sebastian nodded. Blaine went to the front door and opened it to find the last person he expected. “Travis,” he said, not sure what to do.

Travis, it seemed, felt the same way. “Blaine?” he asked. “What are you doing here?”

“I-” Blaine looked over his shoulder at Sebastian, who was suddenly sitting upright. “I brought soup,” he finished weakly.

“I see,” said Travis, stepping past Blaine and into the entryway despite the fact that no one had invited him in. Addressing Sebastian, he said, “What happened to your 100 yard radius?”

Sebastian sat up a little straighter. “I didn’t invite him,” he said tensely. “Blaine just came over.”

“I was just leaving,” Blaine said. “I’ll get out of your way so you guys can-”

“No, Blaine,” interrupted Travis. “Stay. Sebastian obviously wants you here.”

Sebastian looked at Travis. “Is now really the time? I’m sick, it’s not like I’m trying to keep some big secret. Blaine is just trying to help.”

“I’m sure he is,” said Travis. “And so am I. Would you like me to stay?”

Travis looked like he was trying really hard to cover up how angry he was. It wasn’t working, and Blaine wondered what his outbursts were like when he wasn’t trying to hold back for the sake of Sebastian’s health.

Sebastian regarded the two of them. “You should go,” he said finally.

“Thank you,” said Travis, and he turned to Blaine. “Thanks for coming over, but I can take it from here.” 

Blaine nodded and turned to leave. “Not you,” said Sebastian, and Blaine froze. “Travis, you need to leave. I’m tired and I don’t want to do this right now.”

Travis looked at Sebastian, then at Blaine, and back to Sebastian. “Right,” he said. “Okay. I guess I’ll see you later, Sebastian. Bye, Blaine.” He was out the door before Blaine could respond.

“I’m so sorry,” Blaine said to Sebastian. “I didn’t want to cause any trouble.”

“A little late for that,” Sebastian said, lying back down. “Fuck, it’s so cold in here.”

The apartment felt plenty warm to Blaine. “I think you just have a fever,” he said. “Where’s your medicine cabinet, I’ll go get you some ibuprofen.”

With Sebastian’s directions, Blaine found the master bedroom and Sebastian’s bathroom. By the looks of it, Sebastian was running out of supplies. He shook the last two Advil out of the bottle and returned to the living room, where Sebastian was already half asleep. “Take these,” he said, handing Sebastian the pills and some water. “I’m going to run to the drugstore, okay?”

Sebastian took the ibuprofen and did as he was told. “Take my keys,” he said. “I might not be awake when you get back.”

Blaine found them on a hook by the door and stepped out, already looking up directions to the nearest pharmacy. Luckily, there was one nearby and he threw the biggest bottle of Advil he could find in his basket, along with some ginger ale, cough syrup, and, impulsively, a pack of popsicles. He wasn’t sure what else Sebastian needed or if he’d even want anything else, but he figured too much was better than not enough.

When he got back to Sebastian’s place, he let himself in quietly. Sure enough, Sebastian was passed out on the couch. Blaine got to work, putting the popsicles in the freezer and the ginger ale in the fridge, and he set the Advil down on the table next to Sebastian. Almost as an afterthought, he refilled Sebastian’s glass of water and took a moment to take in his handiwork. Sebastian was still completely unconscious, and Blaine could feel himself looking on fondly.

He caught himself and looked away, and Travis’ face when Blaine had answered the door flashed through his mind. He didn’t belong there, and he’d had no right to go in the first place. He should’ve left then, but he’d stuck around, probably making things between Sebastian and Travis even worse than they already were. 

Guiltily, Blaine found his jacket and let himself out. Sebastian was stubborn enough to will himself better, Blaine told himself. He would be fine. As for Blaine, that was shaping up to be a different story. He sat on the T, cold in his coat, trying to sort through his feelings. It didn’t work.

Finally back in Mission Hill, he headed for home. The commute had been terrible, and Blaine thought about Sebastian making it twice a week. Life in Cambridge must've been pretty bleak if he'd felt the need to escape so far and so often, and Blaine felt like he should’ve pushed harder to find out why. It might’ve saved everyone a lot of trouble.

When he climbed into bed that night, Blaine tried to reconcile the events of the day with what his expectations had been. He knew that some small, delusional part of his mind had hoped Sebastian was alone because Travis was no longer in the picture and that Sebastian would…

He stopped himself there. That obviously hadn't happened, and Blaine needed to let the fantasy go. A lingering hope clung to Sebastian's confession that he was unhappy, but Blaine felt like he'd meddled enough.

Somehow he didn't see his phone light up with a message from Sebastian a few hours later. All it said was _thank you_ , and Blaine didn't notice it until the following afternoon. Distracted, he pulled it open periodically for the rest of the day. At first he agonized over what to say, but as the day dragged on he started to wonder if he should say anything at all. Everything he did seemed to drive them both deeper into discontent with the state of their relationship, but unless something big happened, nothing was going to change. Blaine had done all he could do. 

In the end, he chose not to respond. If Sebastian wanted to pursue anything else, he could be the one to initiate it. Blaine would wait for him to say something first.

* * *

After two weeks of silence, Blaine was starting to think that whatever had occurred between him and Sebastian was done. He still hadn’t heard anything, and was coming to terms with the fact that he might not. He’d flipped through their old text messages enough times that doing so again was pointless, but he never sent a new one. On a free Saturday after a week of classes where he’d been too distracted to focus, Blaine decided to try to walk it off.

Jamaica Park wasn’t exactly close, and the walk was a little longer than the cold would usually permit. Still, the air was winter-crisp and clear, and Blaine needed to think. He meandered mindlessly through the paths, taking in the scenery. Boston wasn’t great in the winter, nor'easters ruined the magic of snow and ice pretty quickly, but there was still something lovely about the delicacy of it all. In a few months it would start to thaw, and shortly thereafter things would start to bloom. Boston wasn’t great in the winter, but it was beautiful in the spring.

It was hard to believe that it had only been a year since Blaine had fallen in love with the city. Nationals with the Warblers had been a whirlwind, the journey there had been insane and fraught with conflict with New Directions. They’d won fair and square though, and Blaine knew his team had earned the win. The last he had heard, both Kurt and Rachel had returned to their lives in New York following the defeat, and were doing well despite the loss.

Blaine hadn’t had a chance to really get to know Boston during nationals, but what he had seen had captured his interest enough for him to contact Nick. It had been a rush to submit last-minute applications, but Berklee took him in and Blaine finally felt like he was on the right path. He didn’t miss his life in New York because it had never really been his life to begin with, it had been based on the hopes and dreams of someone else and his desire to live up to them.

Over the summer he’d crashed on Nick’s couch for three weeks while they looked for apartments. In the beautiful grace period between the end of one project and the beginning of a new adventure, Blaine had taken the time to explore. By the end of the visit, he hadn’t wanted to leave, not even to pack his things so he could return. Mission Hill was definitely no Westerville, and it had been a strange adjustment at first. Blaine had settled though, and was enjoying his new life and his fresh start when Sebastian had reentered the picture.

It had been a little jarring, the old superimposed over the new. Sebastian had shifted in and out of his life to whatever extent Kurt had allowed, and his reintroduction had been unhindered by outside restraints. It was an opportunity for them to get to know each other, not as show choir rivals and beyond flirty banter. They’d seized that opportunity and had run with it.

It had been unhindered on Blaine’s end, at least. He wasn’t sure where Travis came into play. Had Sebastian sought Blaine out because of him, or in spite of him? Sometimes at Wagner’s Sebastian had seemed almost lonely, and Blaine knew the feeling all too well. Sebastian obviously had friends at Harvard, he’d met a few of them at Halloween and Kris seemed to know Sebastian well enough to know who Blaine was. The way she had looked at him when he’d accidentally shown up at her doorstep indicated to Blaine that she might’ve known Sebastian a little better than Sebastian might’ve thought. 

Regardless, Sebastian had been making twice-weekly trips to Mission Hill despite his complaints of how sketchy the neighborhood was. Something was drawing him there, and Blaine had a feeling it wasn’t the food at Wagner’s.

It was a lot to handle. Blaine checked the time, realizing that he’d been out longer than he’d planned when the cold started to steep into his extremities. He hadn’t resolved anything on his walk, but his mind felt clearer. It was time to go home.

It was a bit of a hike back, and as Blaine turned the corner to his street he was already thinking about tea and warm socks. He was surprised to find someone waiting for him at his door. “Sebastian?” he asked, not sure if what he was seeing was right. 

“I tried the buzzer,” Sebastian said, shivering, “No one’s home.” Blaine wondered how long he'd been waiting. 

“Yeah, Nick’s been holed up in the labs at Northeastern, they have better computers than he does,” said Blaine, distracted. “I was taking a walk. Does Travis know you’re here?”

“Travis is no longer in the picture,” Sebastian said, and it looked like a weight had been taken off his shoulders.

Blaine took a second to let that sink in, but even that was too long to be thinking about anything outside. His fingers were going numb, and Sebastian didn’t look any warmer. “Do-” Blaine hesitated, but thought twice. “Do you want to come in?” he asked. He was tired of what-ifs. He wanted a “what now?”

The easy smile that made its way across Sebastian’s face reminded Blaine of the old Sebastian, the one Blaine had come to appreciate for the man he’d become. 

“I’d like that,” he said, and Blaine opened the door.


	4. Chapter 4

They made it up the stairs to Blaine’s apartment with minimal effort, most of it going towards carefully removing their snowy boots outside the door. Once they’d hung their coats up on the rack inside, Blaine turned to Sebastian. “Sebastian, I’m…” he started. At the expectant look on Sebastian’s face he clammed up. “Cold,” he finished lamely. “Do you want something hot to drink? I’m going to make some tea.”

“I’m good, thanks,” said Sebastian. “Blaine, do you know why I’m here?” 

Blaine knew. Despite himself, he was inching closer; he was being drawn in, like the gravitational pull between them was finally too strong and he was struggling to keep himself in the orbit he’d set up around Sebastian. Sebastian said, “I’m here because of you,” and Blaine felt himself crash through the upper atmosphere and down to earth. 

When asked later, Blaine wouldn't be able to say why, but he closed the remaining distance between them and tilted his head up to plant a soft kiss on Sebastian’s lips. Another one, softer, when Sebastian didn't respond right away. That seemed to be all Sebastian needed to kick his brain into gear and he started to kiss back, wrapping his arms around Blaine’s waist and dragging his hands up his spine. 

After a minute they separated but didn’t go far, sharing a shaky moment where neither one of them seemed to know what to do next. Sebastian’s hand found its way to the back of Blaine’s neck, and Blaine flinched. Sebastian stilled immediately. “Is this-” he started, but Blaine didn’t let him finish.

“Your hands are freezing,” he said, and laughing, they both stepped back. “Come in and warm up, I think we both need to defrost.” Sebastian followed Blaine into the living room and settled himself down on the couch. He looked so comfortable, so at ease, that Blaine decided to forgo the tea and sit with him. “You look good, Sebastian,” he said, and he meant it.

“I feel good,” said Sebastian. “I have you to thank for that.”

Blaine smiled. “Well I’m glad,” he said. “Always happy to help.”

“You did,” Sebastian insisted. “I needed a final push to make me leave and you gave me one. I didn’t just want out, I wanted you.”

Blaine had felt a sort of tension simmering between them for weeks, and suddenly it was as if something in him snapped. Sebastian wanted him, he wanted Sebastian, and there was nothing between them now. For no reason other than that he wanted to do it, Blaine reached across the couch and grabbed a handful of Sebastian’s shirt, pulling him in for a kiss. This one was more heated and carried a little more weight, and Sebastian went willingly. He ended up half on top of Blaine, but neither of them complained. They kissed again, and again, and Blaine lost track of everything that wasn’t Sebastian’s mouth on his. 

Their movements were slow but fevered, like they wanted each other so much it was igniting them from the inside and they had to control the burn. Blaine’s whole body was on fire, sparks flying when Sebastian touched his arm, his face, the back of his neck. It was almost like Sebastian had forgotten how to do this without getting angry first, and he moved cautiously, almost tenderly. 

There would be time for tender later, Blaine thought. He wanted more. Feeling bold, his hands slid into Sebastian’s back pockets and he pulled their hips together, earning a startled moan from Sebastian. “Do you want to?” he asked, not feeling the need to get any more specific.

“Fuck yes,” said Sebastian, and he was already moving off Blaine to get them both upright.

Standing, Blaine kissed Sebastian again and tried to maneuver them to his bedroom by shoving Sebastian backwards down the hall without separating them. They ended up with Blaine pressed against his bedroom door and Sebastian’s mouth on his neck. “Please,” he said. “Sebastian-”

Sebastian took the cue and reached for the doorknob, and they stumbled in. His shirt was off before their legs hit the bed, and Blaine’s followed soon after that. Toppling onto the mattress, it was a rush to get the rest of their clothes off. They fumbled with belts, then with pants and socks, until finally they were naked. Sebastian ended up hovering over Blaine, looking at him like he’d been waiting for this for ages. Blaine realized that maybe he had been. “Fuck,” Sebastian said. “What do you want, Blaine? I’m down for literally anything.”

“Come here and kiss me,” Blaine said, and Sebastian eagerly complied. They managed to position themselves so that their cocks lined up, and the first brush of contact elicited a gasp from Blaine and a low moan from Sebastian. They kissed and they kissed and Blaine’s fingers found their way into Sebastian’s hair, tugging lightly at first, then harder when it made Sebastian’s hips stutter.

They both seemed to lose focus on kissing as their hips built up a rhythm, cocks sliding between them with a glorious friction that left them both panting and desperate. Blaine kept one hand in Sebastian’s hair, but moved the other to drag his nails down Sebastian’s back. Sebastian groaned, and Blaine felt himself thrusting his hips up harder. Moving to mouth at Blaine’s jaw, Sebastian shifted to support his weight on one arm while the other reached between them and brought their cocks together with his free hand.

Blaine gasped out a moan and his back arched off the bed, fingers tightening where they were holding onto Sebastian for dear life. “ _Blaine_ ,” Sebastian said, breathless against the spot behind Blaine’s ear that made Blaine push up into the touch.

“Yeah,” said Blaine, feeling it building inside him. He wanted it so bad he ached, and he could tell Sebastian did too. “Yes, god, _please_ ,” he said, and with a few final strokes he was gone, his entire body going taught as his eyes slammed shut. He felt Sebastian come shortly thereafter, and was left with a tingling buzz that seemed to encompass his entire body.

Sebastian stayed positioned over him for a few seconds, and Blaine wondered how he was keeping himself there on one shaky arm. Eventually he did move, sliding to Blaine’s side with an arm across his chest. They were quiet for a while, but Sebastian broke the silence. “Damn,” he said, “Fuck everything else, we should’ve been doing this for years.”

Blaine laughed. “Probably,” he agreed, “That was good.”

“Good?” Sebastian asked with mock outrage. “That was fucking spectacular, we are so good at this.”

“We are,” said Blaine, “but not so good that I don’t think we need to practice more.”

“I like the way you think,” said Sebastian, and he leaned in for another kiss.

* * *

After a while, Blaine got sick of sitting in a sticky, sweaty mess on what until then had been clean sheets. “I’m going to shower,” he said to Sebastian. “If you’re going to stay in my bed I suggest you come with me.”

“What makes you think I would pass up the opportunity to soap you up like we’re in bad porn?” Sebastian asked, then seemed to realize something. “Wait,” he said, “Does this mean I get to see you ungelled?”

Blaine groaned. “If you’re going to make fun of me you’re showering by yourself.”

“No way,” said Sebastian. “This is almost as good getting to see you naked. Almost.” He tacked on the last part in response to Blaine’s skeptical glare.

“Fine,” Blaine said, “but one wrong word and you’re out on your ass in the cold.” He grabbed an extra towel from his closet and once in the bathroom he started the water.

“Wow,” Sebastian said, admiring the bathroom, which was admittedly a bit nicer than the rest of the apartment might have let on. “The acoustics in here are great, do you guys ever sing in the shower?”

Blaine climbed in, testing the water temperature before gesturing for Sebastian to join him. “Yes,” he said, “but Nick and I have an unspoken agreement to never talk about it.”

Sebastian laughed and watched Blaine start to scrub the gel out of his hair. “Shame,” he said, “I bet you sound great.”

“I do,” Blaine said, handing Sebastian some body wash and moving out of the way of the direct spray so Sebastian could use it. “I bet you would too.”

“Are you saying you want me to serenade you?” Sebastian asked. “Because that can be arranged.” Blaine swatted at his shoulder, but Sebastian seemed dead set on making the shower a musical one. “ _I’m your national anthem, god you’re so handsome_ ,” he started, and Blaine started to laugh.

“Lana Del Rey?” he asked. “I don’t know why I’m surprised.”

Sebastian wasn’t deterred. “ _He says be cool but I don’t know how yet, wind in my hair, hand on the back of my neck-_ ”

Blaine finished washing his hair and shoved Sebastian out of the way so he could rinse out the shampoo. Sufficiently clean, he put his hands on either side of Sebastian’s face, blinking through the water. “I can’t handle this,” he said, but he was smiling. He had a feeling it had been a long time since Sebastian had found a reason to sing, and the easiness with which it seemed to come back to him made Blaine reluctant to leave. His stomach was protesting though, so he said, “I’m going to find something to eat, you can join me whenever.”

Sebastian made a noise of protest when Blaine climbed out of the shower, but that didn’t stop him from continuing, “ _I said ‘can we party later on,’ he said, ‘yes yes yes.’_ ”

Blaine wrapped a towel around his waist and abandoned Sebastian to sing to himself in the shower. He was seriously hungry, sex like that worked up an appetite, and he knew he should feed them both. He stepped into the hallway just in time to hear Nick’s key in the lock.

Blaine froze, his indecision giving Nick enough time to get through the door and notice him standing there, dripping wet. “Oh hey,” Nick said, “didn’t think you’d be home. Why is the shower running, are you not done yet? Because I have an overnighter’s worth of computer lab grime on me and I’m ready to scrub it off.”

As if on cue, Sebastian’s voice came belting out of the shower. “ _Red, white, blue is in the sky, summer’s in the air and baby heaven’s in your eyes-_ ”

Nick’s eyes widened more than Blaine had previously thought possible. “Is that-” he started, but the answer seemed to come to him before Blaine could respond. “Oh my god,” Nick said, and then again, “oh my _god_.”

“Nick, I can explain,” Blaine said. “It’s just-” He realized he couldn’t really explain, not yet.

“Right,” Nick said, and they both turned their heads when they heard the shower shut off.

“I will give you anything you want if you leave for just like, an hour,” Blaine pleaded, “but you have to go now.”

Nick regarded Blaine carefully for a second, and it was long enough that Blaine knew he’d regret making the offer. “Anything I want?” he asked. “Okay, but you owe me.” He was back out the door with no further questions, although Blaine knew an interrogation would come later.

The bathroom door opened and Sebastian stepped out, giving Blaine a curious look. “You're not dressed,” he said. “Not that I'm complaining, but you look like you've seen a ghost.”

“Not a ghost,” Blaine said, “Nick came home early.”

Sebastian snorted. “I guess you have a lot of explaining to do.”

“Oh no,” Blaine said. “You're the one who got us busted, Mr. ‘ _heaven’s in your eyes_.’”

“He heard that?”

“Yep,” Blaine said. “I give it 15 minutes before the Dalton alumni group text knows you sing Lana Del Rey in the shower.”

Sebastian paled a little, and stepped into Blaine’s room to rummage through the pile of clothes at the foot of Blaine’s bed. He pulled his phone out of the pocket of his jeans and started typing, and after a few seconds it buzzed, presumably with the answer he was looking for. “I've saved my dignity,” he said. “Nick will keep his mouth shut.”

Blaine didn't really see what the big deal was, but curious, he asked, “What did you say to him?”

“Can't tell you,” Sebastian said. “Mutually assured destruction; if he finds out I told you god only knows what he'll tell everyone else. Some things are best kept secret.”

“You're sure I can't convince you?” Blaine asked.

Sebastian smirked and dropped his towel. “Secrets can be bought.”

* * *

They'd barely made themselves decent by the time Nick returned an hour later. Blaine was still ungelled and Sebastian looked way too smug for his own good, but at least they were clothed. Nick opened the door with one hand over his eyes calling, “Is it safe?” as he entered the living room.

Blaine and Sebastian had drifted back to the couch where they were halfway through devouring the leftovers of a pizza Blaine had ordered a few days earlier. It was towards the tail end of freshness but it was still edible, and the two of them were full of enough endorphins to make it taste good. 

“It's fine, Nick,” Blaine said around a mouthful of pineapple bacon. Sebastian had protested the toppings, calling them “despicable and frankly irresponsible,” but in the end hunger had won out over morality. “No one’s naked,” Blaine assured Nick. “I promise you won’t see anything traumatizing.”

“Thank god,” Nick said, dropping his hand as he set his bag down. “Do I want to know what happened?”

“If it’s not already obvious I can draw you a diagram,” Sebastian suggested. “I’m very artistic, I’m sure it’ll clear a few things up.”

“Gross,” Nick said, pulling a face. “Something smells good,” he said, trying desperately to change the subject. “Wait, did Blaine get you to eat pineapple bacon pizza? How the hell did he manage that?”

Sebastian raised an eyebrow. “Do you really want to know?” he asked.

“ _Gross_ ,” Nick said again, a little more emphatically. “I’ll leave you two alone for now. If you guys had sex in the shower, don't say anything. I go in there to feel clean, please don't ruin that for me.”

Blaine laughed as Nick disappeared into his own bedroom. “That was mean,” he said to Sebastian, but he didn’t really mean it. Nick would survive, he’d put up with worse from Blaine and Blaine would do the same for him. Blaine still wasn’t sure what kind of explanation he was going to offer when the questions inevitably came up later, but he hoped Nick would be receptive.

“He asked,” Sebastian shrugged, finishing the last of his pizza and setting his plate down on the coffee table. “Do you want to do something?” he asked.

“Are you asking me out on a date?” Blaine asked, collecting Sebastian’s plate and sticking it in the sink with his own.

“Call it what you want,” Sebastian said. “You can pick where we go.”

* * *

The Prudential Center was a little touristy, but it was already getting dark by the time they left and the view from the Skywalk Observatory on a clear night would be incredible. Blaine had taken the Warblers there before Nationals and it had been amazing. He’d been meaning to go back now that he lived in Boston, but he’d never had the chance. He was glad he could bring Sebastian with him.

On the elevator ride up, Blaine caught Sebastian looking at him. “What?” he asked. “Do I have pizza on my face or something?”

“Nope,” Sebastian said, cool as ever. “You’re good.”

Blaine didn’t have time to respond; the elevator stopped and they stepped off to make their way to the nearest window where a panoramic view of the city awaited them. Boston was lit up and sparkling, the rush of traffic softened into golden light and the sky dimmed to a royal blue. “Wow,” he said. “I’ve never been up here at night.”

Sebastian looked as wowed as Blaine felt. “I’ve never been up here at all,” he said. “I have to say, this was a good choice.” He gave Blaine the winning grin that had been missing for so long, and Blaine felt himself blush.

They wandered around a little, not saying much but not really needing to. Blaine snapped a few pictures on his phone to send back to his parents, and Sebastian seemed content to just observe. Sometimes Blaine wasn’t sure if Sebastian was observing the scenery or him; every once in awhile he’d see Sebastian watching him out of the corner of his eye. He smiled every time he noticed, and sometimes Sebastian would smile back.

The Skywalk closed earlier during the winter season, so they were ushered out sooner than either of them would have liked. It didn’t make sense for Sebastian to return to Mission Hill with Blaine when he could just go right back to Cambridge, and they prepared to part ways in front of the building.

“I’ll text you?” Blaine asked, a little uncertain. It had been a good day, and he didn’t want it to end. He didn’t want whatever this was to go with it.

“Yeah,” said Sebastian, adjusting the lapels on the front of Blaine’s coat. “Tonight, preferably. It’s late and I’d like to know you made it home alive without some transient on bath salts trying to eat your face off.”

Blaine huffed out a laugh. “Sebastian, how many times have you been to Mission Hill now?” he asked. “You know it’s not that bad.”

“Whatever,” Sebastian said. “Just let me know you made it back okay.”

“Alright,” Blaine agreed, “Same goes for you.” He was inwardly relieved that he wouldn’t have to play some sort of mindgame of waiting a requisite number of days before initiating contact. He’d never been good at stuff like that, and he was glad Sebastian didn’t seem to want to do it either.

Sebastian gave him one last smile. “Sounds good,” he said, and reluctantly he walked off to find his T stop. Blaine watched him go, waiting until he couldn’t see him to go find his own way home.

* * *

Nick was waiting for him when he got back. “So Sebastian…” he started before Blaine was even all the way through the door. 

“He's not with Travis anymore, if that's what you're asking,” Blaine said, sitting down across the table from Nick. 

“That's not what I'm asking, but good to know,” Nick said. “What I'm asking is if you've thought this through.”

“I’m a big boy, Nick,” said Blaine. “I can take care of myself.”

Nick sighed. “I just think Sebastian might be a blind spot for you. I don’t want to watch you get plowed down when he goes off the rails. You saw how he was with Travis, do you really want to be next?”

Blaine eyed Nick nervously, not liking where this was going. “It’s different,” he insisted, “I’m not crazy, for one, and secondly they were wrong for each other from the start. Sebastian and I have a shot at something good.”

“Look, I like Sebastian,” Nick said, and Blaine felt that on most days that was at least 90% true. “I’m not saying you shouldn’t give it a try, but you have to look at his track record before you get your hopes up. If you’re happy, I’m happy for you, but I don’t want you to relive another Kurt situation and get taken advantage of.”

“I am happy,” Blaine said, “so you should let me do this. I had a good day today, and I’d like to end it that way.”

Nick, it seemed, wasn’t ready to give up. “I’ve only seen you be miserable about this, Blaine. Today may have been good, but what about last month? What about next month? How long ago did they even break up, are you sure you’re not a rebound?”

Blaine didn’t like this. There weren’t supposed to be any more obstacles, especially not from his best friend. He didn’t understand why Nick wasn’t being more supportive, wasn’t that what friends were for? He flashed back to Nick telling him he’d wished he’d said something when it became obvious that Blaine was unhappy with Kurt. He didn’t want to know if that was what this was.

“I’m going to bed, Nick,” Blaine said. It had been an eventful day and he was tired.

Nick sat back from the table with his hands up in a gesture of concession, and Blaine stood up. “Just keep in mind,” Nick said, “it took less than five minutes after I walked out the door today for him to blackmail me into not saying anything about you two. You guys have done a lot of secrecy already, do you really want to keep that up?”

Blaine didn’t say anything, instead he retreated to his room and locked himself inside, Nick’s skepticism making him think twice. The Sebastian who'd had screaming fights with Travis wasn't the Sebastian Blaine had come to care about, and if Sebastian had felt the need to be sneaky he wouldn’t have just shown up at Blaine’s door. He found his fingers hovering over his phone before finally typing out a message.

**To Sebastian:** _I’m home safe, no transients but I did have to deal with Nick_  
 **To Sebastian:** _he’s being an asshole, next time I say we skip the condiments and put Nair in his shampoo_

**From Sebastian:** _damn, that’s hardcore_  
 **From Sebastian:** _what’d he do?_

**To Sebastian:** _he’s incapable of keeping his stupid opinions to himself_  
 **To Sebastian:** _I’m trying to think of nonviolent ways to get him to shut up and failing_

**From Sebastian:** _whoa there killer, before you go all Dalton Academy fight club on him, maybe you should take a step back_  
 **From Sebastian:** _come over tomorrow, you’re always offering to come to Cambridge and it might be good for you to get out of the house_

**To Sebastian:** _that sounds really good, I’ll text you when I leave tomorrow morning_

**From Sebastian:** _excellent, I’ll see you then_

Blaine put his phone away, a little more at ease. He was still mad at Nick but he wasn’t sure if it was because of the lack of support or because of the small chance that Nick might be right. Sebastian didn’t exactly have the best history when it came to relationships, but who was he to judge? Technically speaking, neither did Blaine. Maybe they just needed to figure it out together.

* * *

It was a dreary Sunday morning when Blaine stepped out of his apartment. Overcast and windy, it was cold enough to serve as a reminder that winter wasn't over just yet. Blaine navigated his way to Sebastian’s apartment, knowing the route better this time and making it there without too much of a hassle.

He thought it was a good thing that Sebastian was inviting him over to his place in Cambridge, he’d always pretty adamantly kept Blaine away from his life at Harvard and Blaine hoped this was a gesture of letting him in. Sebastian did let him in, literally, when he got to the right door and rang the bell.

“Hey,” Sebastian said when he opened it. Blaine stepped in and ditched his coat and boots. “I see you made it here without bringing the cops with you which tells me dear Nicholas must still be alive. As much fun as it would be to see him bald, that doesn’t really seem like your style. Please tell me about his stupid opinions, because if he’s a flat-Earth truther I say we launch him into space so he can see for himself.”

Blaine laughed and sat down. “No one’s going to space, Sebastian,” he said. “Nick was just running his mouth about things he had no business running his mouth about.”

Sebastian sat down next to Blaine on the couch, not exactly invading his personal space but definitely closer than casual company would usually expect. Blaine didn’t mind.

“Do tell,” said Sebastian. “You look really worked up, he must’ve done something especially stupid.” Sebastian’s tone was light, but there was a hint of concern behind it.

Blaine figured it was probably best to just get to the point. “He thinks you’re using me as a rebound and that you’re going to take advantage of me. He also doesn’t like that it took you less than five minutes to blackmail him into silence about us. Nick’s not big on secrecy, and he says he’s seen enough of it from both of us already.”

“You’re right,” Sebastian said, “Nair in his shampoo should do it.” The earlier lightness in his voice was gone.

“Am I your rebound?” Blaine asked. He figured he might as well get the hard questions over with.

“What? Blaine, no. Fuck, I’m already bad at this.” Sebastian ran a hand through his hair. “Rebound implies that I need to get over something, but there’s nothing to get over because when I left Travis I didn’t feel anything but relief. I know it’s fucked up and I’m supposed to be upset and giving myself time or whatever, but I was sick of waiting for something to happen. I didn’t want you to move on while I pretended to be in mourning for a relationship that I wanted dead to begin with.”

Blaine sighed. “That makes sense, I guess,” he said. “But why did you have to blackmail Nick? You weren’t with anyone else, so it’s not like we were doing anything wrong.” Before Sebastian could start speaking again, Blaine added, “And don’t say it’s because you didn’t want people to know you like Lana Del Rey, we all know you like Lana Del Rey, you should really learn how to make your Spotify playlists private.”

Sebastian winced. “Okay, I earned that,” he said. “But here’s the thing, everything with Travis went to shit as soon as we made our relationship official. There were a lot of expectations that I couldn’t meet, and I wasn’t in an environment where failure was acceptable. I hated myself for not doing better and everyone else started piling on judgement when I didn’t fit the bill. Things spiralled and you saw the rest.”

“I would never judge you, Sebastian,” Blaine said, and he let himself lean into Sebastian’s side a little.

“I know,” said Sebastian sincerely. “That’s why I think I can do this at all, but outside pressure is a lot. Just like with Travis, everyone is going to be waiting for me to fuck up with you. I didn’t want to give the Dalton alumni group text a head start.”

Blaine leaned into Sebastian more fully, and Sebastian hesitantly wrapped an arm around his shoulders, like he wasn’t sure it’d be welcome. “Well thank you for talking to me about it,” Blaine said. “I believe in you, Sebastian, and I’ve seen you come a long way. It obviously wasn’t right with Travis, but this is different. We’re different. It’ll be better.”

“Thank you, Blaine,” Sebastian said. “I do want to make this work.”

“So do I,” said Blaine, “but I’m done talking for right now. Do you wanna make out for a while?”

Sebastian grinned and said, “Fuck yes.”

* * *

They lost track of time, and when they came up for air they realized they were both hungry and probably dehydrated. Reluctantly they made their way to the kitchen, and Sebastian was already offering to cook. “Do you want a grilled cheese?” he asked, his voice a little muffled where his head was stuck halfway into the fridge.

“Um, obviously,” Blaine said. “Do you want any help?”

“Nah, I’ve got it,” said Sebastian, emerging with a pile of ingredients that seemed disproportionate to what Blaine thought constituted a grilled cheese. He set them down on the counter and grabbed a saucepan, tossing various components into it faster than Blaine could keep up with. Five minutes later the kitchen was starting to smell great, but Blaine wasn’t any closer to a grilled cheese.

“I think you’re doing this wrong,” he said from the kitchen table. 

Sebastian’s back was turned to him but he waved a hand dismissively. “Humor me,” he said, and Blaine didn’t say anything else.

Content to watch Sebastian work, Blaine sat back as Sebastian finally seemed to put things together into something that was at least sandwich-shaped and start to grill them. Finally, Sebastian set a plate down in front of Blaine, and while it didn’t look exactly like a grilled cheese, it looked amazing. “Oh my god,” he said after taking the first bite. “What is this?”

Looking pleased with himself, Sebastian said, “Balsamic blueberry grilled cheese,” he explained. “Good, right?”

“Incredible,” Blaine said, taking another bite. “I didn’t know you could cook.”

Sebastian took a bite of his own sandwich and finished chewing before saying, “I don’t do it much, or at least I haven’t done it much recently. It’s been a long time since I’ve had a chance to make this.”

Blaine looked at the sandwiches in front of them and then at Sebastian. “You’re trying to impress me, aren’t you?” he asked.

“I bought the ingredients this morning before you got here,” Sebastian confessed. “I’m serious though, I do like to cook.”

Blaine was already done with the first half of his grilled cheese. “You can cook like this and you came to Wagner’s twice a week? Sebastian, you could eat these every day if you wanted to.”

Sebastian laughed and said, “I liked the company at Wagner’s better, and I think you’re too quick to downplay how good their food is. It is nice to pick the hobby back up, though.”

“What made you stop?” asked Blaine around one of the last few bites of his sandwich.

Sebastian shrugged. “Travis had money and money could buy a hell of a lot better than this,” he said. “And after a certain point I was too tired to care.”

Blaine had wondered why Sebastian hadn’t seemed to have hobbies that kept him from their meetings at Wagner’s, but Blaine hadn’t really had any of his own so he’d kept it to himself. He was just getting started at Berklee, after all, and he figured he’d have time later. As for Sebastian, he’d kind of assumed a party every weekend would be enough to keep anyone busy. Blaine thought back to Sebastian singing in the shower and wondered what else he might’ve given up.

“Well you can cook for me whenever you want,” Blaine said, “and if you really want to win Nick over you can make one of these for me to bring home to him.”

Sebastian made two with what was left, and to really outdo himself he put a tray of potato slices in the oven to make chips. “They’re so easy,” he said, popping some of the finished product into his mouth. 

Blaine laughed. “I think you and Nick have different ideas of what constitutes ‘easy,’” he said, but he helped wrap the food up. Blaine insisted on doing the dishes, a habit hardwired into him from a young age, but Sebastian didn’t seem to mind and grabbed a towel to dry with.

Once everything was put away, they found themselves standing face-to-face in the kitchen. “Is this the part where I try to convince you to stay out past your curfew but you resist for the sake of your modesty?” Sebastian asked. “Because I can be very convincing.”

“I have class first thing tomorrow morning,” said Blaine, “and so do you. I should really get going now, I have an assignment due that I’ve been putting off to deal with you.”

“I know, I know,” said Sebastian, “you’re model student and all that. I actually have some stuff to do too. You’re quite the distraction, Anderson.”

Blaine started to move towards the door. “Well,” he said, “we’ll just have to motivate each other. Maybe we can start studying together.” He grabbed his jacket and wound his scarf around his neck.

Sebastian stepped into his space and tugged on the scarf, and Blaine’s breath hitched. Sensing this, Sebastian grinned and said, “I have a few motivational tools that I like to use, I bet you’d find them enlightening.” He tugged on the scarf again, and Blaine had to brace himself on Sebastian’s shoulders to keep himself from stumbling forward.

Blaine had to tilt his head up to see Sebastian properly, and he suspected that was his intention. He kissed Sebastian slowly, and they lingered there for a while. “I should go,” he said finally, reluctantly pulling away. “I’ll want a presentation on those motivational tools, I expect it to be ready by Wednesday.”

“Of course,” said Sebastian. “I’ll make a powerpoint.”

Laughing, Blaine pulled on the rest of his gear, grabbed the bag of food for Nick, and made his way out the door.

* * *

Nick wasn't home when Blaine got back, so he shoved the food into the refrigerator and grabbed his laptop to get some work done while he waited. He’d finished two assignments and was almost done with a third when Nick walked in. Blaine closed his laptop, and Nick looked up at the sound of it shutting. 

“Look,” Nick said, “I know you're mad at me, but before you freak out I just want you to know that I have your best interests at heart.”

“I’m not mad,” Blaine said. “I actually brought you something. It's in the fridge if you're hungry.”

Nick was always hungry, and he took the bag out of the fridge eagerly. Sitting down and opening the box, Nick’s jaw went a little slack at what he found inside. “This looks amazing, where did you get this?” he said, and took a huge bite, not even bothering to heat it up. The noise of appreciation it elicited made Blaine a little uncomfortable.

“Sebastian made it,” Blaine said. “I went to his place today and we talked about a lot of stuff and he cooked. I thought you might want some.”

“So you're allowed to go to Cambridge now?” Nick asked after polishing off the first half of the first sandwich. “That's a good sign.”

Blaine smiled as Nick started in on the chips. “Yeah,” he said. “I realized you had a few valid points so we talked it out. I think we both feel better, so thank you.”

That clearly hadn't been the response Nick had been expecting, but undeterred he continued eating. “You really think he's ready for this?” he asked between bites. 

“Yeah, I do,” Blaine said.

“Are you?” Nick asked. 

“Yeah,” Blaine said again. “I really am.”

“Alright,” said Nick, apparently satisfied, “I guess this is happening.”

Blaine left Nick to destroy the second sandwich in peace, taking his laptop and his phone with him. When he'd settled in his room he noticed he had a message.

**From Sebastian:** _so about that study date_

Blaine smiled, already excited for what was about to begin.


	5. Chapter 5

The next few weeks passed quickly. They studied together a lot; sometimes in Cambridge, sometimes in Mission Hill, and sometimes at a random location downtown when they needed a change of scenery. It seemed counterintuitive that study time with Sebastian would be less distracting than trying to study while dealing with him from a distance, but the quiet company was nice and they worked well together. Occasionally they'd get distracted; sometimes Blaine would stop what he was doing to kiss Sebastian senseless or Sebastian would insist on being rewarded for hard work and they’d get carried away. Nonetheless, by spring break they’d settled into an easy comfort with each other.

Spring break was something of a misnomer in Boston, March was still pretty frosty and it’d be weeks before anything started to bloom. Their breaks didn’t coincide, but Blaine’s was the week before Sebastian’s, and Sebastian offered to skip the Friday before Harvard’s break started so they’d have a few days of overlap to do something.

They hadn’t really come up with a plan as to what by the time Blaine’s last day of classes rolled around, so Blaine settled on spending as much time in Cambridge as he could. He was barely home for the first few days, only going back to Mission Hill to sleep, and sometimes not even then. 

Blaine liked occupying Sebastian’s space. It was almost domestic, a concept Blaine had never associated with Sebastian before, but it was nice. The first night he’d stayed over had been a rush of marathon sex, and they’d fallen asleep before either of them could think too much about what it meant. When Blaine woke up the next morning, Sebastian was missing, and he hadn’t been entirely surprised. He’d expected some tension after everything that had happened, and they were moving faster than Blaine had anticipated. When he’d stepped into the kitchen, he’d found Sebastian making waffles. Relieved that he hadn’t gone far, Blaine had joined him and they’d sat down for breakfast together. 

The next time Blaine stayed over, he found Sebastian making omelets in the morning. He realized that skipping out before he woke up might be Sebastian’s way of getting some distance to sort himself out after they spent the night together, so he didn’t question it. Sebastian would come around when he was ready, and Blaine wasn’t going to push. He’d spent the next night in his own apartment, and he could tell Sebastian was relieved.

Sebastian’s last class on the Thursday before break was set to finish early in the afternoon, and Blaine had planned to meet him in Cambridge once he was done. He’d received a cryptic text message mid-morning telling him to pack a bag with enough stuff for a long weekend and be waiting in front of Sebastian’s apartment by 3pm. 

Blaine didn’t know what was up but he did as he was told, getting his duffle bag ready and arriving just before the scheduled time. He knocked on Sebastian’s door, but nobody seemed to be home. Slightly annoyed by Sebastian’s lack of punctuality, Blaine took out his phone and was halfway through composing a message when a car horn startled him out of focus. He turned around just in time to see Sebastian flawlessly parallel park into a spot a few cars down.

When Sebastian had climbed out the driver’s side door and joined Blaine in front of his apartment, he grinned at Blaine’s baffled look. “Well?” he said, “We’ve got it for three days. Where do you want to go?”

Blaine’s mind was still trying to make sense of the unexpected surprise. “You got us a car?” he asked.

“Yep,” Sebastian said, looking especially proud of himself. “I’m sick of Cambridge and I’m sick of Boston, let’s go somewhere.”

“Anywhere?” asked Blaine, trying to think of where they could go.

“Anywhere we can drive to for a long weekend,” Sebastian said, “That narrows it down but if there’s somewhere reasonably close that you can think of, we can go.”

Blaine landed on the perfect location. “Portsmouth,” he said. “We should go to Portsmouth.”

Sebastian didn’t exactly light up at the suggestion. “New Hampshire?” he asked, “Please tell me you’re not going to make me go antiquing.”

“Of course not,” Blaine said, already trying to figure out how to convince Sebastian to go into at least one shop. “There’s other stuff there. They have great breweries.”

That got Sebastian’s attention. “Breweries?” he asked. “I knew getting you that fake ID was a good idea.”

Blaine smiled. “Yes, Sebastian. We can go drink pretentious beer and look at lighthouses like the New England stereotypes I always knew we could be.”

“One lighthouse,” Sebastian said, unlocking his front door. He’d prepared in advance and a bag was waiting just inside. He grabbed it and turned back to Blaine. “You get one lighthouse.”

* * *

Traffic getting out of Boston was a mess just like it always was, but after they’d cleared the city the ride got much nicer. They probably would've had better views any other time of the year, but even in March it was beautiful. They took the scenic route rather than the faster way up the interstate with Sebastian behind the wheel and Blaine’s attention torn between him and the scenery. Blaine liked New England, there was a sort of innate calm that came with being by the ocean, so driving so close to the shore was almost soothing. It was just Blaine, Sebastian, and the road, and that was all they really needed. It wasn’t a particularly long trip though, and it was over too soon. Portsmouth was busy but not overrun, and Blaine was eager to explore.

They’d booked a room on Blaine’s phone in the car, and when they arrived they were able to check in without a problem. It had a view of the waterfront, and between that and the pictures of a nearby park in the brochures in the lobby, Blaine made a mental note to come back in the spring. It was quiet, and the decorations bordered on quaint. Sebastian didn’t even pretend to like it.

“Blaine, I thought you said this wasn’t going to be a bed and breakfast,” he said, setting his bag down on the bed. The bedframe, much like the furniture in the rest of the room, was distinctly colonial.

“It’s not,” said Blaine. “I think this is just how all the hotels are here. It might be a New England thing. I don’t see any artistically framed paintings of sailboats though, so I guess it could be worse?”

Sebastian stepped into the bathroom and flipped on the light. “It’s worse,” he said, pointing to a painting above the toilet. It was artistically framed in what Blaine could only imagine was driftwood and depicted a sailboat and a lighthouse at sunset.

“Let’s go get you a beer,” Blaine said.

“Dear god, please,” said Sebastian, and they made their way downtown for dinner.

Downtown Portsmouth was walking distance from where they were staying, and they stopped at the first brewery they happened past, the cold pushing them inside before they’d explored much. Their fake IDs passed, Sebastian really had spent a mint on them, and the waitress took their orders. When she came back with Sebastian’s IPA and Blaine’s pilsner they ordered burgers, and they sat back to people watch while they waited. There were a lot of couples from out of town, presumably in Portsmouth for the same reasons they were.

Service was quick and the food was good, and in no time at all they were back in their room. Blaine was already tired, and he couldn’t imagine how Sebastian felt after driving on top of a morning full of classes. Sebastian seemed tense, almost agitated, and once he’d pulled on his pajamas Blaine sat down next to him.

“Everything okay?” he asked, resting a hand on Sebastian’s shoulder.

“I don't do antique shops,” Sebastian said, not looking at Blaine. “I don't do colonial furniture or bed and breakfasts or sailboats. That's not who I am.”

“I don't expect you to do any of that, Sebastian,” Blaine said, carefully withdrawing his hand. “We didn't have to come here. We can leave right now if you want.”

“No,” Sebastian said adamantly, “You like it here so I’m going to make this happen. Just… go easy on me when I complain. I don’t think I can smile and nod like that guy with the dead eyes who we passed while he was loading a vintage end table into the trunk of his car.”

Blaine tilted his head into Sebastian’s field of view so he’d have to look at him. “You don’t have to do any of this,” he said sincerely. “I know this isn’t exactly your scene, it’s okay if you don’t want to be here.”

“I promised you a lighthouse,” Sebastian said, but he looked more relaxed. It occurred to Blaine that he might’ve needed the reassurance. “Tomorrow we’re going to a fucking lighthouse.”

They went to bed, no marathon sex to wipe them out, no marathon studying to make them braindead, just pajamas on and lights off and the quiet around them. Blaine drifted off, vaguely concerned that the trip had been a bad idea but encouraged by the way Sebastian had smiled at him when he turned off the bedside lamp.

The first thing Blaine noticed when he woke up was that he wasn’t alone. Sebastian was still asleep, with one arm thrown almost casually across Blaine’s chest. He’d expected Sebastian to have gone for coffee or gotten up to shower, he certainly hadn’t expected Sebastian to still be asleep half on top of him. It was sweet, and Blaine was content to watch until Sebastian opened his eyes a minute later.

“What the hell, Blaine?” he said blearily, disentangling from Blaine to rub at his eyes. “Did you lure me here with the promise of good beer and sex just to stare at me creepily while I sleep? If there’s a shrine to me in the closet I’m calling the cops.”

“It’s just nice that you’re here,” Blaine said. The intimacy of waking up together was new enough that he didn’t want to press the matter. “There’s a cafe across the street,” he added. “I can go get us coffee if you want.”

“I’ll come with you,” Sebastian said, surprising Blaine. He’d been trying to give Sebastian the distance he’d become accustomed to, but Sebastian was giving up the chance to be alone. Blaine wondered what had changed.

They got coffee and bagels at the cafe, and the coffee was good enough that Sebastian was reminiscing about Paris before they were half done. He stopped short of saying it was better, which Blaine knew meant it was probably at least close to being as good, so he smiled into his cup and let Sebastian talk about the authentic French cafes surrounding the Trocadero.

* * *

The drive to the lighthouse was short and lighthearted, the two of them arguing over the presets on the car’s radio until Sebastian physically smacked Blaine’s hand away from the controls and they settled on Top 40. A mutually agreed upon Justin Timberlake song was interrupted by their arrival at the lighthouse, and Blaine was almost disappointed. He’d just managed to get Sebastian to sing with him and didn’t want to stop.

As far as lighthouses were concerned, the Portsmouth Harbor Lighthouse was pretty standard. It’s main appeals were that it was on the mainland and very close to where they were staying, but it was beautiful nonetheless. The sky was blue, dotted with enough clouds to make for an interesting contrast, and the view of the ocean was stunning.

Blaine was drawn to the ocean, stepping out of the car and immediately getting as close as he could, phone in hand. He was trying to make the panoramic option in the camera work when Sebastian stepped up alongside him. “Not bad,” Sebastian said, “I must admit, out of the ten thousand lighthouses in the area, this one is pretty okay.”

“Shut up,” Blaine said good naturedly, “It’s pretty.”

“It’s nice,” conceded Sebastian, “You look pretty happy about it.”

Blaine put down his phone and took in the scenery. “I am,” he said, “How about you?”

Sebastian smiled, and Blaine knew it was genuine. “Yeah,” he said, and Blaine was relieved that it looked like he meant it.

They both turned to the lighthouse. “Wanna go to the top?” Blaine asked, and Sebastian shrugged. “The view is probably really good,” he added, “unless you don’t think you can make it up the stairs.”

“Is that a challenge?” Sebastian asked, looking at Blaine with a sly grin, “Because if it is you should know I take defending my honor very seriously.”

“In that case, I’ll let you go first,” Blaine said, and they made for the door.

The spiral staircase inside was a bit more daunting than Blaine had anticipated, but Sebastian was already a few steps ahead of him and by the time they got to the top, Sebastian was the only one breathing easily. Watching Blaine’s labored last steps he said, “What? Did you think Harvard doesn’t have a gym?”

“Whatever, you win,” Blaine said, leaning against a wall to catch his breath.

Sebastian bowed and said, “Let’s go take a look.”

The air was cold when they stepped outside, but as anticipated the view was great. Even Sebastian took out his phone to snap some pictures, and Blaine was pleased to see that he seemed to be enjoying himself at least a little. “Hey,” Blaine said, gesturing between them, “picture?”

Sebastian stepped closer and he positioned them with their backs to the water and his arm around Blaine’s waist. Blaine glowed, and Sebastian said, “I’m surprised you haven’t wanted one yet, it makes sense to want to gift the world with our sex appeal.”

Blaine flipped his camera so it was facing the front and held it out in front of them, trying to get at least a little of the ocean in the background. “Smile,” he said and he tapped the button, then once more for good measure. He pulled open his pictures and tried to get a good look at them, shielding the screen from the sun’s glare with his hand. “Aww,” he said, “They’re blurry. One more?”

Sebastian complied, shifting even closer and tugging on Blaine with the arm around his waist. “You’re sure you don’t just like cozying up to me?” he asked.

“Whatever,” Blaine said, “Just stay really still. Count of three, one… two…” Blaine didn’t know what possessed him to do it, but right as he would’ve said “three” he turned his head and kissed Sebastian’s cheek at the exact moment he took the picture.

* * *

They were both still laughing by the time they made their way back down the stairs. “Real smooth, Anderson,” Sebastian said, but he was looking at Blaine with a new kind of fondness that made Blaine’s chest ache. 

They walked around for a while and took a few more pictures, but they were getting chilly so they decided to head back into town. They found the car, fired up the GPS, and as they were pulling out of the parking lot, Blaine said, “Thank you for this.”

“Thank you for giving me a choice,” Sebastian said, eyes on the road. “I don’t actually hate lighthouses, I just didn’t want to have to be the kind of guy who loves them.”

“I never expected you to be-” Blaine started, but Sebastian didn’t let him finish.

“I know,” he said, “and that’s why I’m having a good time. We could’ve left last night and you wouldn’t have held it against me. I guess I’m still half-expecting to get yelled at for not being enthusiastic enough about small talk at yacht parties about whose mistress is hotter.”

Blaine wondered what kind of things Sebastian had been forced to fake enthusiasm for. Much like everything else he’d heard about Sebastian’s relationship with Travis, it sounded exhausting. “Okay well I’m not Travis and I actually care if you have fun, so if there’s something you want to do, speak up,” he said.

“Well,” Sebastian said, “there’s a concert at the music hall tonight. I checked out the sign they’d posted out front when we went by, it could be cool.” He seemed to have been waiting for the opportunity to bring it up.

“Yeah,” said Blaine, “Let’s do it. Lunch first?”

“Definitely,” said Sebastian.

* * *

Lunch was bar food and more pretentious beer at another brewery, and after that they still had a few hours to kill so they walked along the waterfront for a while to take in the sights. Blaine was completely charmed by the boats and the water and the rows of houses, and though he knew it didn’t have quite the same effect on Sebastian, there were a few times Blaine caught Sebastian looking at him like he was charmed by something else.

They made their way back downtown as the afternoon passed, and Blaine found he couldn’t resist one small antique shop in particular. Trying to play it cool, he said, “Sebastian, do you want to get us some coffee? That cafe over there looks pretty good.”

“You mean the one right next to the antique place you can’t take your eyes off of?” Sebastian asked, seeing right through him. “You can go in if you want, as long as I don’t have to go with you. I can get the coffee.”

Blaine placed his hands together in a gesture of thanks, a vase in the front window had been calling his name. When he emerged, carefully wrapped purchase in hand, Sebastian was waiting for him with a cup of coffee and a bag of doughnuts. “You’re a saint, Sebastian,” he said.

Sebastian laughed and walked them back to the car. “We’ll see about that,” he said.

They both felt they needed to rest for a little bit before heading back out to the music hall that night, and when they got back to their room they kicked off their shoes, ready to chill out. Blaine gingerly placed his new vase on an armchair and turned to Sebastian, who was nudging one of the ornate legs of the bed with his foot. “What are you doing?” he asked.

“How old do you think this bedframe is?” Sebastian asked thoughtfully, not answering the question. He started nudging it a little more firmly.

“I dunno,” Blaine said. “It looks old but this is New England, there are recreations everywhere and it’s hard to tell sometimes. Why?”

Still not looking up, Sebastian checked his watch. “We have about three hours before we should leave for the concert,” he said, and then he turned to Blaine with a wicked grin. “I think we should test its structural integrity to see if we got our money’s worth.”

Blaine opened his mouth to say something but the smile on his face must’ve been enough, because Sebastian was across the room and on him before he could make an argument for their security deposit.

Three hours and a hastily scarfed down dinner later, Blaine and Sebastian found their seats at the music hall. Neither of them knew much about the bands playing, but it seemed to be a local mix of enough genres to keep things interesting. In the end, they hadn’t found any new favorites, but they’d still enjoyed themselves. They stopped for one final beer at a brewery nearby; they’d have to leave first thing in the morning to get the car back in time.

“I know we wanted the full long weekend,” Sebastian said, “It sucks I couldn’t get the car for longer. Do you have any plans for Sunday?”

Blaine sipped his beer. “All the homework I’ve been neglecting to hang out with you,” he said. “It’s music theory which might actually kill me.”

“If you need a break,” Sebastian remarked, “I know a place in Mission Hill that has pretty decent food.”

* * *

The drive back to Boston was as fun as the drive up to Portsmouth had been. They discovered the auxiliary cable in the center console about fifteen minutes after they pulled onto the road, and Blaine hooked up his phone rather than mess around any more with the presets. Taking a risk on the shuffle button, they made their way through Blaine’s music library. Having particular fun with Maroon 5, they sang “Harder To Breathe” at top volume as they crossed the city lines back into Boston.

Mission Hill was nowhere near being on Sebastian’s way home, but he insisted dropping Blaine off anyway. He stopped short of leaving the car though, saying goodbye from behind the wheel with a quick kiss. “I was serious about Sunday,” he said as Blaine grabbed his bag out of the backseat. “If you’re bored we can go to Wagner’s.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Blaine said, and with a wave he shut the passenger’s side door and Sebastian was off.

Once upstairs in his apartment, Blaine made it a point to unpack before he did anything else, not wanting his duffle bag to sit full of dirty clothes in his room for too long. It was quick work, and he was making a sandwich in the kitchen when Nick walked in, his own suitcase in tow. His break had overlapped with Blaine’s, and he'd gone to visit Jeff. 

“How was Milwaukee?” Blaine asked, pulling out more bread to make an extra sandwich for Nick.

“It was good,” Nick said, “It’s boring as fuck but we could be living like kings there dude, the cost of living is insanely low. Jeff’s apartment is half our rent and a hell of a lot nicer.”

Blaine laughed as Nick flopped on the couch still wearing his coat. He handed Nick the sandwich and said, “Here, eat this, you don’t fly well and I don’t want the bear the brunt of your hangriness in an hour.”

Nick accepted it gratefully. “I went to a bar downtown and got a cocktail for four dollars, Blaine,” he said, taking a bite. “A good one, too. None of the cheap shit the bars in Mission Hill use.”

“Yeah but you’d have to live in Wisconsin if you wanted it regularly,” Blaine said, starting in on his own sandwich, “Is it really worth it?”

“No,” Nick reluctantly agreed. “Thanks for the sandwich, you’re smart to think ahead.”

Blaine laughed and said, “Someone has to and we both know it won’t be you.”

Nodding in agreement, Nick asked, “So how was your break? Did you see much of Sebastian? As per usual I request lies if you guys had sex on anything I have to touch.”

“I spent a lot of time in Cambridge and then we went to Portsmouth,” Blaine said. “It was fun.”

“Sebastian had fun in Portsmouth?” Nick asked. “Damn, that’s unexpected.”

Blaine shrugged. “I think it was unexpected for both of us, but it was really good.”

Nick put down his sandwich, giving Blaine a thoughtful look. “This is really happening between you guys, isn’t it?”

“I think so,” said Blaine.

* * *

Most of Sunday had been dedicated to preparing for the impending return to school. Blaine had spent the afternoon scrolling through his notes and trying to complete a handful of assignments before starting up at Berklee again. The break had been nice, but he was ready to get back to his routine. And what was more routine than dinner at Wagner’s with Sebastian? By that evening, he was as ready as he was going to be to go back to school, but not before he’d met up with Sebastian one final time as a free man. 

“Just like the old days, huh?” asked Blaine, joining Sebastian at their booth.

“Better,” countered Sebastian, “and it hasn’t been that long since we’ve been here.” He shrugged off his sweater and Blaine noticed the glint at his wrist revealed by his short sleeves.

“Sebastian,” he hissed, giving the Rolex a pointed look, “I’ve told you, if you’re not going to cover that up, put it away.”

Sebastian rolled his eyes. “You’re the one who’s always saying Mission Hill isn’t that shady, Blaine,” he said.

“You’re the one who’s wearing a watch that’s worth more than most of the cars out there,” Blaine countered.

When Blaine didn’t stop staring at it, Sebastian sighed. “Fine,” he said, slipping the watch off and into the pocket of his jeans, “I’ll put it away.”

“Thank you,” Blaine said, and waved down a waitress to take their order.

Blaine had mixed feelings about Sebastian still wearing the watch, but in the end he’d decided it didn’t bother him. If someone had given him a watch that nice, it would’ve taken a lot more than a nasty breakup for him to get rid of it. If he’d put everything Kurt had given him into a ritual bonfire he would’ve needed to replace half his wardrobe, so one watch didn’t really matter. Still, he felt a petty kind of victory when Sebastian took it off.

“Hey,” Sebastian said while they waited for their food, “can I see some of your pictures from the weekend? None of mine are that great.”

“Sure,” Blaine said, and he slid around to Sebastian’s side of the booth and opened his phone. He’d taken a lot of the ocean and some were difficult to tell apart, but they were all nice. They swiped through them together, and Sebastian paused when they got to Blaine’s favorite.

The picture from the top of the lighthouse was great, Blaine had managed to take it just in time to capture the exact moment when Sebastian’s surprise at Blaine kissing his cheek had turned into laughter. It was joyful in its spontaneity, a blue background of ocean and sky framing their heads. They looked happy, and Blaine loved that he’d been able to document it so well.

“I like this one,” Sebastian said, “Tag me in it when you put it on Facebook.”

“Sebastian, are you sure?” Blaine asked. He hadn’t really been hiding their relationship from people but he hadn’t exactly been broadcasting it, either. If he put it up on Facebook, everyone would know.

Sebastian shrugged. “Why not?” he asked, “It’s about time the world knew I finally got Blaine Anderson. Hell, make it your profile picture, it’d be nice to be looking good on two pages.”

Blaine grinned and opened the app. “Alright but I’m doing it now before you change your mind,” he said.

“What makes you think I’d change my mind?” Sebastian asked. “I’m totally serious.”

Blaine tapped a few buttons and held up his phone. “Done,” he said, smiling at Sebastian. He knew they’d never set their relationship status with each other on Facebook, something about it just seemed too forced and it really wasn’t a priority for either of them. This was enough though, it was more than enough, and Blaine could already see notifications coming in.

They ate together with a sense of comfort that came from routine, and Blaine didn’t make it back to his side of the booth. When they were done, they paid the bill, and Blaine said, “You should come over.”

“Is Nick going to be there?” Sebastian asked.

“Probably,” said Blaine.

“Is he going to make it weird?” Sebastian looked wary.

“Oh, definitely,” Blaine said. “You’ve met him, right? But think about it, you can walk me to the T tomorrow morning, if you’re good I’ll even let you carry my books.”

Sebastian laughed, “You make a convincing argument, let’s go.”

They made their way through the people waiting for tables outside the Wagner’s doors and arrived at Blaine’s apartment without incident. Blaine hung up Sebastian’s coat and was hanging up his own when Nick walked in.

“You two,” Nick said. “I had to hear about this from the Dalton alumni group text?”

Blaine laughed and sat down, gesturing for Sebastian to join him. “Nick,” he said, “you heard about it from me. You made me talk about it all the time, even when I didn’t want to.”

“Okay, fair point,” Nick said, “but if there’s any hot scoops in the future I call dibs on being the one to break the news.”

“We’ll let you know when we’re expecting,” Sebastian said, placing a hand over Blaine’s stomach. “We’re really hoping for a girl. Is that a big enough scoop for you?”

Nick made a noise of disdain. “Whatever,” he said, and then he pointed to Sebastian. “I know it’s your break so I’m treating you like a subletter, if you’re here too much I’ll be expecting a check by the end of the week.”

“Oh my god, Nick,” Blaine said, “Go away or I won’t let you have any of the next thing Sebastian cooks for me.”

“I am wounded,” Nick said, placing a hand over his chest. “In my own home, too. Shame on you.” He was laughing though, so Blaine could tell he was only 60% serious about the subletting thing. He might have to keep that in mind when Sebastian stayed over.

Nick left them alone eventually, and they watched Netflix on Blaine’s computer for a while before they decided to call it a night. Once in Blaine’s room, they started stripping down for bed. Blaine got a little distracted watching Sebastian undress, the hard lines of muscle shifting as he pulled off his shirt and moved to his belt.

“Enjoying the show?” Sebastian asked, and Blaine focused his eyes back on his face. 

Blaine moved closer, sliding his hands around Sebastian’s waist. “So what if I am?” he asked.

“I’d say audience participation is required,” Sebastian said, and moved Blaine’s hands lower. Blaine smiled, moving closer still, and dragged his hands back to Sebastian’s belt. As he unbuckled it, he noticed a lack of weight in Sebastian’s front pockets. Abandoning the belt, he stuck his hands in and felt around. “This isn’t the kind of audience participation I was thinking of,” said Sebastian, sounding mildly uncomfortable, “I was thinking something sexier.”

Blaine pulled his hands out of Sebastian’s pockets and grabbed both of his wrists, looking at them even though he knew they were bare. “Sebastian,” he said, “where’s your watch?”

Realization dawned on Sebastian’s face. “I put it-” he felt around his pockets a little. “It was definitely here.”

“Not anymore,” Blaine said, trying his hardest to look upset that the watch was gone. “I think you got pickpocketed.”

Sebastian looked more annoyed and less angry that Blaine had expected he’d be. “You’re the one who kept saying I wouldn’t get mugged here,” he said.

“Yeah,” Blaine said, “Mugged. Not pickpocketed. No one can protect you from those. Some thief got lucky tonight.” Against his better judgement, Blaine laughed. It was kind of funny, months of urging Sebastian to keep a token of his former boyfriend away hadn’t gotten him anywhere, but on the one night Sebastian listened, the watch was gone. The fact that it happened the night they went public with their relationship was just a funny coincidence.

“Okay, for that, the thief is the only one getting lucky tonight,” Sebastian said, shoving his jeans the rest of the way off and climbing into Blaine’s bed. “That was a Rolex, Blaine.”

Despite his protests, Sebastian didn’t look like he’d suffered some big loss. Blaine wondered if maybe he’d needed the excuse to get rid of it. “I can buy you one of those plastic watches that lights up every hour,” he offered, joining Sebastian in bed.

“That’s not a Rolex,” Sebastian said, but he was smiling to widely to be too torn up about it.

“But do you really even want a Rolex?” Blaine asked, angling his head up for a kiss.

“I thought I did,” Sebastian said, leaning in closer. “I think I'll prefer what I get instead, though.”

When Sebastian kissed him, Blaine knew he wasn’t talking about the watch.


	6. Epilogue

Summer snuck up on both of them.

After spring break the city had started to thaw, making commutes more tolerable and giving Blaine and Sebastian a chance to explore. Boston could be beautiful outdoors, and it wasn’t unusual for them to spend a Saturday afternoon somewhere along the string of parks linked between Boston and Brookline. As the end of the semester neared, they started bringing their books.

Finals had been a rush, and Blaine had barely had a chance to see Sebastian. They’d bounced between Sebastian’s apartment, Blaine’s apartment, and Wagner’s as much as possible, but the reality of the distance between Mission Hill and Cambridge kept them from seeing too much of each other when time studying was more valuable than time on public transit. It was a relief when they were done, and their planned celebratory sex had been rescheduled when it became apparent that what they both needed was a nap.

The simple act of waking up with Sebastian hadn’t gotten old for Blaine, and he wasn’t sure if it ever would. One unremarkable weekend before finals hell had really started, Blaine had been packing his things after spending the night in Cambridge when Sebastian showed him an empty drawer. He took on a casual air of indifference about whether or not Blaine used it, but it meant a lot to Blaine, and he could tell it meant a lot to Sebastian too. Blaine had cleared out a drawer in his own dresser that night.

They were by no means ready to live together, that was for further down the road and besides, Blaine and Nick had signed a two-year lease on their apartment. Blaine liked where he lived, and he had a feeling Sebastian did too, so they had agreed to not think about it for a while. It would come in time, and Blaine was in no rush.

Conveniently, Nick was gone all summer. He’d landed a once in a lifetime internship in Los Angeles and wouldn’t be back until school started again in the fall. Blaine missed his company more than he’d ever admit to Nick, but they stayed in touch and Blaine was secretly relieved that he and Sebastian would have the extra space to figure out who they were as a couple. Blaine valued his friendship with Nick more than with anyone else, but Nick had developed a nasty habit of interrupting quality time with Sebastian, sometimes innocently and sometimes not. He’d been coming around to Sebastian’s presence in their apartment, and Blaine could tell that Sebastian was also starting to develop a weird sort of begrudging fondness for Nick, but it would be nice to have some privacy.

Blaine had his own plans; he picked up two summer courses at Berklee in the hopes that taking classes outside of the regular school year would catch him up enough to graduate on time. He wasn’t looking forward to spending the summer doing homework, but the goal of graduating when he felt he was supposed to motivated him enough to get through it. Sebastian helped him in whatever way he could, whether it was helping him study for tests or cooking for him when he was too worn out from the accelerated schedule to feed himself. 

Sebastian, for his part, found his own ways to stay busy over the summer. He refused to go back to Ohio on principle; when he left he’d sworn to himself that he’d never go back for more than two weeks at a time. Instead, he stayed in Cambridge and got a job doing intakes at a law firm. It was boring work but good experience; building up a background in the legal field was important to him, and Blaine knew he took it seriously.

Blaine had been surprised when Sebastian told him he’d joined a recreational lacrosse team. Harvard didn’t have an intramural team, but Boston had leagues that anyone could join. Sebastian had confessed that he missed the sport; Blaine knew from secondhand accounts that he’d been good at it, but watching him play was something else. After a few weeks Blaine took to running laps with him while he trained, and the habit stuck until the cold weather returned and forced them indoors.

They found themselves going to Wagner’s less, opting for Sebastian’s good cooking or Blaine’s mediocre cooking over taking the time and money to go out to eat. Blaine was saving up for a trip to LA at the end of the summer in the week between when his classes ended and Nick’s internship wrapped up. He’d secretly hoped Sebastian would go with him but couldn’t figure out how to ask either him or Nick until the last minute. To his surprise, both of them agreed. He and Sebastian managed to make it through airport security at Logan and baggage claim at LAX with only one major fight, which was better than Blaine could’ve hoped for. Nick had warned him that cross-country travel was trying for any relationship, and although Blaine had brushed him off, he was relieved that he and Sebastian seemed to have passed the test.

The week in LA was stunning, the sunshine warming Blaine from the outside in and making Sebastian smile just a little wider. They took some time to do typical tourist things; Blaine was particularly interested in Hollywood and Sebastian was more than happy to be brought along. They hit the beach and the pier in Santa Monica, and by the time the week was over they’d both built up a nice tan. Cooper insisted on taking them to dinner and made everyone uncomfortable in the process, but he seemed to approve.

When it was time to go back east, Blaine found that he wasn’t too sad. The vacation had been nice, but he was ready to go back to Boston. He’d never felt so much like he belonged anywhere else; Dalton had come close but McKinley and New York had never really been _his_. 

Mission Hill and Berklee and Jamaica Park and even Wagner’s, they were all his. Sebastian was his. Boston was his.

As the plane touched down at Logan Airport, Blaine realized he was home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sequels are in the works, watch [my fic blog](http://oneprotagonistshort.tumblr.com/) for updates


End file.
